One of my neighbors is in the process of moving. I’ve lived here for four years and never spoken to them. Kind of a proud moment for me. We waved and such but never found the need to speak. This is the correct way to be a neighbor in my opinion. I look forward to not speaking to the next one.
Got called on the proverbial employee carpet last week. A mutual friend of Foley and mine stopped by The Landmark office to visit and whatnot last week. This so-called friend had called me on the drive into Platte City for directions to the office. I missed the call. By the time we spoke, he had already visited the Landmark and been “informed” by Foley that I had never been to the new office, so it was doubtful I know where it is. That hurt.
Anyway, Foley has invited me many times. I’m just very anti “let’s visit in person” when we all have phones and such, so therefore I am not a great guest in any situation. I like to think it’s because I prefer a purpose for any task, including meeting with people. My wife thinks I’m simply weird. The answer is yes. Yes, I need a counselor, this is not normal behavior.
I have moved the mutual “friend” to a mutual “acquaintance” in the personal status quadrant of my brain until further notice. There was no need to stop by and see Foley and get me reprimanded and this is how I will punish him.
Made the mistake of dipping my proverbial toes into political opinion last week. The race that is dominating my social media feeds is the Nathan Willett vs. Chris Stigall race for Congress and I wrote a bit about it last week and I knew when I hit send that I’d hear from an “acquaintance” that is heavy in the Stigall camp.
He offered to bet on the result and actually offered terms. He seemed really confident. My column came off as some sort of Willett endorsement, and I can assure you that is not my position. My official opinion is that I don’t care who wins. I’m a member of the “Me” party now and these things just don’t matter much.
Anyway, my point is that this race is kind of interesting. These two dudes are running around 39 counties and posting their whereabouts every day, smiling next to farmers, cops, and firemen mostly. They both attach themselves to every town or location in some odd way and it makes me laugh. Willett had some relation farm in Atchison County in the last 200 years and pretty much now claims to be a farmer when necessary. Stigall appointed an agricultural committee for his campaign that will probably never have a meeting, other than a photo shoot for the advertisements.
I can hear the speeches now.
“Good evening, thank you for having me tonight. Can’t tell you how happy I am to be in Linn County this evening. My grandfather’s great step uncle once ran the horseshoeing shop in Linneus until he opened a house of ill repute in Laclede.”
-Polite applause-
These dudes have been everywhere south of the Iowa line. For me, it’s like playing “Where’s Waldo” every evening. Log onto Facebook and see where Nathan or Chris have been. Their fuel bills gotta be “YUGE.”
How many votes do you think you can grab in Darlington or Denver, Missouri? Think Rock Port or Wallace will put one of them over the top? I know absolutely nothing about running a political campaign for Congress, so don’t use this as your campaign playbook but I’d concentrate on the counties with lots of people and send some flyers to the rest, call me crazy.
(Guy Speckman can be reached not chatting with neighbors)
