Let’s prioritize my public policy dreams for the new year. I know we probably need more senior tax freezes for rich, old people, but I’d personally like to push another agenda. Somebody cut this column out and mail it to Team Tony or Sam Graves. I don’t know which body of government handles what.
Anyway, I’d like a law that eliminates customer surveys after purchases. Between you and me, I am absolutely sick of getting emails and text messages after every single stupid purchase. What exactly am I supposed to tell the local car dealer about my oil change experience? How can I possibly explain the joy and satisfaction with the toiletries purchases we made online from Amazon? Or the delivery experience for the legal folders Staples dropped on my porch. How can I possibly summarize my buy experience in one survey?
Listen, I know this is very quick “post-Christmas” level of grumpy, but this is a real problem, let’s get the government on this.
Speaking of old people, my 85-year oldish in-laws announced to us at Christmas that they are starting a “bitch” jar in the new year. They have committed to each other that they will put a quarter in said jar, each and every time they complain in the coming year. This is the exact moment I became worried about their financial future. There is no way they have enough money to fully fund that endeavor and I’m afraid the kids are going to have to have an intervention. I’ll keep you posted.
Luckily, my in-laws are Platte County residents and have already locked in their senior property tax freeze, so they’ll have a tad more available to fund the effort. God Bless property tax freezes.
If you are reading this, I’d like for you to send me your phone number so I can text you a “satisfaction survey.”
That last part is not true. The last thing I need in life is to know how unsatisfied you are after reading this column. You should understand that you could never be as disappointed in this space as I am. Let us just agree that I have assumed as much and it’s not my job. Call Foley or something, he’ll text you a survey.
The Chiefs are officially moving and there are key people that act like they were surprised. I’m still unsure why anyone is surprised. The Truman Sports Complex sits within a deteriorating urban setting that has gotten progressively worse over the last decade. Why would any entity that has the resources to leave, stay? It seems so obvious to me. Anyone that thinks the Royals are staying out there is equally out of touch with the reality of the area.
Public officials claiming to do something “great” with the abandoned Arrowhead area are also out of touch and about a decade late with that idea.
If the Chiefs misled the City of Kansas City as much as the mayor’s statements have indicated about this process, then I’d make the next five years exceedingly difficult for the Kansas City Chiefs. I’d probably start a five-year road construction project around Arrowhead (think lots of restricted lanes and traffic cones), and my police protection and assistance costs would skyrocket for said Chiefs games. Might try to pass a special “Truman Sports Complex” sales tax to fund the cleanup or development of the site.
It won’t happen because the Chiefs are the most powerful organization in this town, and it’s not even close.
(Guy Speckman can reached counting the money in his in-law’s complaint jar)
