I’ve quietly enjoyed watching the Des Moines, Iowa public schools’ complete meltdown. The entire country gasped when ICE arrested the superintendent of schools of the district. The superintendent, a former track star, ran from ICE agents and had $3000 cash on him at the time they took him in. That sounds normal for a Midwestern superintendent of schools, right?
A group of readily available protesters even put together a quick vigil for him, until the truth came out. Not only was he in the country illegally, his complete educational and personal history was a lie. The protestors quietly packed up their protest signs and snacks and moved on to the next injustice I suppose.
Anyway, this guy from Guyana was really cool. He had neat suits, did lots of fist bumps with the kids and had some of those really fancy glasses. Unfortunately, he did not have the doctorate degree that he claimed, nor most of the education he claimed. Luckily, Des Moines has broad experience with being really bad at hiring.
Before this undocumented immigrant was put in charge of the state’s largest school system, they once had a lady in charge that used her school email to send racy and raunchy emails to her love interest. She resigned before the local press broke the story. But then they hired a guy that defied the Governor’s COVID orders to return to ½ time school, and he had to quit early too when that was deemed a crime.
Luckily, they found this dude from Guyana to take over. You don’t just find guys like that walking the streets.. . well, you know what I mean.
You cannot make this stuff up. Public schools are the home of the $900 Pentagon hammers at this point. Just money being dumped out the doors and windows of those places and we all just look the other way and think it’s not our district.
Schools are like doctors, no one ever says they have a bad one.
I’ve dated myself with the $900 hammer quip. Seems as though that is an 80s era slang that was born in the frustration of government, specifically the Pentagon, for everyday items costing way too much. Other examples from the day included $640 toilet seats and a $7,000 coffee maker for aircraft. I doubt that the government ever got that under control, we just got used to them overspending and the analogy became dated, just like that.
Government policy and procedure have treated us like water torture victims for as long as I can remember is an apt analogy at this point.
I don’t think Foley monitors my email, so I can send racy emails whenever I please. I guess I got that going for me.
I may get me some cool glasses and a tight-fitting suit and apply for the Des Moines job. I have a doctorate from the University of Landmark – Platte County and a master’s degree from Clinton County School of Miscreants, which should look good on a resume to those people. I can send racy emails, and I don’t mind defying the governor, so I should be in the top five at least.
Hold on. Wife tells me I can’t send racy emails. They have laws against that stuff. You have to post that kind of stuff on Instagram and I don’t have Instagram. She also said I can’t have $3,000 in cash to carry with me if I would get the Des Moines job. Doesn’t seem worth having if I can’t send random dirty emails and make it rain “hundys” when the mood hits. Think I might just stay here that Landmark until they give me a fistful of “hundys,” or both.
(Guy Speckman can be reached patiently waiting for a fistful of “hundy’s” from The Landmark HR Department)
