There is humor in everything. Even in cancer. Even in death. I only knew Ray Richardson a short time – the past year, I’ve been dating his daughter. And I’m going to tell you a few things that I know that should paint a picture of exactly who Ray was.
He owned countless Hawaiian shirts. Those shirts might as well not have even had the top two buttons. They were never used. He was once bitten by a snake. The snake crawled off and died. While he and I got along very well, and while his daughter is now in her 40’s, there was still very clearly a “if you mistreat my daughter I will hunt you down and kill you” energy about our interactions. Partly with a wink, and partly with a glare.
Richardson was the rock of their family, and the cancer diagnosis then six months later the funeral planning has been swift and unforgiving. But, there is humor in everything. Ray wouldn’t have it any other way.
And he would have found humor in the past week as his family gathered to reminisce, eat, share stories, drain bottles of wine and, most of all, laugh. Equal parts Bear Grylls, Jimmy Buffet, and the dad from Modern Family – Ray was, quite literally, the soul of every gathering. And they were countless. He never missed a birthday. Never missed a Chiefs game. Never missed even one of his grandson’s baseball games – keeping statistics on every at bat in his grandson’s 12 year baseball career from age 5 to 17. There is a sign over the toilet in their home that says “There’s a special toilet in heaven for the father of three daughters” and my guess is that Ray’s first few hours in heaven were just enjoying the peace and quiet of a bathroom to himself.
There is humor in everything, and as his family organized his final details, they found themselves at a crematorium getting things signed. There was one document they were asked to sign. “Sorry, I know this is weird, but we make everyone sign it.” It states, simply, that “The undersigned acknowledges that cremation is irreversible.”
This is where we can say with 100% confidence that Ray would’ve said, “no shit??” And likely would’ve spent the next two weeks in full on dad-joke mode explaining to people that cremation is irreversible with a belly laugh that would’ve strained the third and fourth buttons on his Hawaiian shirt.
Cancer sucks. But he took the fight on with a laugh, a wink, and a hug for everyone around him. And also food.
In lieu of flowers, the family is raising money for a bench at Gladstone’s Oak Grove Park. If you’ve got a couple of extra dollars, you can venmo @amy-rae-N06.
And while this week we learned that, thanks to lawyers and Captain Obvious, cremation is irreversible, we also have learned that the laughter, the spirit, and the love that Ray brought his family is truly what’s irreversible.
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