Quick, let’s get this done. I have a pre-school graduation to get to. And you thought I was older than that.
When is the City of Platte City going to be moving into the new City Hall being constructed off of Marshall Road not far from Main Street?
Not soon. As in it will be after July 4, acting city administrator Marji Gehr tells me. How long after July 4 is not yet clear. It had been hoped the new City Hall would be completed in time to host the farewell event being planned for DJ Gehrt, retiring city administrator, on June 15, but that won’t be the case.
Page 3 columnist Guy Speckman claims I informed him no more columns about toes. Do you think I toed him so?
It has been entertaining to learn about Speckman’s apparent fear and distaste of toes. Maybe it’s all an act. Maybe in reality he loves feet. Or maybe he really does have an anti-foot fetish. The only way we’re going to find out is for Speckman to meet this situation head-on. You can help. Email pictures of your feet or toes–or somebody else’s feet or toes, really doesn’t matter–to Speckman at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Don’t bother painting your toenails or getting a pedicure. Let’s see if Speckman likes his toes the same way he likes his BBQ–naked and gnarly.
I have an ugly-ass birth mark on top of my left foot. Kinda shaped like the state of Texas. Red like Texas, too. Speckman gonna be gettin’ a picture of this bad boy.
Half of Guy Speckman wants a cold beer. The other half wants two.
Minimal jail population talk for me this week. I’ll leave it to a couple of letters to the editor to the right. David Park and Tony Messenger have some well written, intelligent, fact-based observations for you.
Read those letters and you’ll be able to pick out the eye-opening portions that give a contrasting view of jail populations than what you’ll get from your county officials.
Minimal jail talk but here’s some crime talk for you.
One of the best ways to get under the skin of county elected officials is to not accept their scary talk about crime. This really annoys your county commissioners, in particular. They hate when you don’t swallow the bait without raising questions or counterpoints. I’ve never before seen a group of government leaders who want to brag about a supposed threat of crime in their jurisdiction. It’s the weirdest thing. Meanwhile, city leaders in places like Platte City and Parkville politely wonder what the hell the county is talking about, as crime is not on the rise in those places.
Ask yourself if you feel safe on the streets of Platte County. I would bet the answer is yes.
Ask yourself if you or any of your friends have been the victim of a violent crime in Platte County. Unless you have activities associated with illegal drugs, the answer is likely no.
But remember if you answer no, you’re hurting the feelings of your county commissioners. They want you scared, trying to motivate you to vote yes on their upcoming pet projects.
The Landmark isn’t the only media outlet declining to bite on the scary crime talk that the county commissioners are throwing at you.
“There hasn’t been an enormous spike in serious crime in Platte County,” wrote Beth McPherson, editor, of the Weston Chronicle, after looking at the official numbers. Bingo. And she is putting it nicely. The way our county leaders talk you’d think the county is being overrun with hardened criminals. That’s just not the case.
According to the county prosecutor’s numbers, the number of felonies in the county has increased by 36 in three years. That’s an average growth of 12 serious crimes per year. Twelve crimes spread over a population of 110,000 people. Lol. You scared?
Here’s an entertainment tip for you. The comic who was the featured presenter at the White House Correspondents Dinner this year is coming to Platte County. I watched the YouTube video of his White House presentation. Really funny stuff. Roy Wood will be performing June 2-3 at the KC Improv Comedy Club in Zona Rosa. Tickets available at improvkc.com.
(Find Foley recruiting ugly foot photos to be sent to Guy Speckman)