Good day, fellow readers. We are in the midst of the holiday season and the two or three readers that I have expect something cheery. If that’s you, read something else; “snark” does not take holiday’s off. Onward we proceed.
I sometimes read political news, and the irony strikes me that we now have a bunch of old elected officials discussing the merits and/or risk as well as the quality of marijuana. It feels like some alternative reality from which most of us grew up in. Back in the day, the potency of your weed was primarily discussed by long-haired hippies with a nice stereo rack system and now they discuss it in the hallowed halls of our state and federal legislature.
I’m sure they were discussing their weed back at the Capitols back in the day, just not a part of the official record in those days.
I want to be forthright with you. I tried to win the Powerball last week and if I had won, you’d never have seen me in this space again. If I win a billion dollars, it will take all my time to spend that, and I can’t be wasting time giving you bad opinions.
When a car goes by you on the Interstate in the dead of winter with windows up on both cars, and you can smell the weed, I’m assuming that is good weed. Is that a reliable test for potency? I’m not a weed guy, just observant.
To be honest, I do not even understand the weed laws. I asked my wife last week how it all works. I still see people get arrested for marijuana charges, despite it being “legal.” Not to be critical of my wife, but that was a dumb question to ask her. She has no idea. Anyway, we deduced it was complicated, and we should probably concentrate on figuring out the “senior property tax freeze” law before we reach eligible age. We’re fairly good at prioritizing our personal interests above the greater good.
We are about to slide into two weeks of holiday. I suggest, as a survival technique, some potent weed, stiff drink, or lots of workout endorphins for those of you that partake in such matters.
Not going to lie to you, I already got myself a Christmas present. Home Depot is delivering a garage refrigerator to me this week. It kind of makes me tear up a little just thinking about it. This is a refrigerator that has strict off limits to everything but my beer, tea, and water. I will purchase a chain and lock if necessary to enforce my wishes. There will be no “casserole” or “just a gallon of milk for a few days” storage in said refrigerator. I will defend this space with my life. The refrigerator will never be empty. I will keep it meticulously “faced,” a skill I learned as a grocery stocker in my formative years. It’s my definition of a bougee life.
Quick amendment to my rules. I will probably allow some frozen treats for my dogs in the freezer portion during the summer months, but no “cool whip” for some random upcoming human birthday gathering will be tolerated. Pray for me as I defend these rules.
(Guy Speckman can be reached stocking and facing his garage refrigerator)
