I’m just going to publicly declare that I don’t believe national restaurant chains when you close your restaurant lobby because of “staffing shortages.” COVID has made this an acceptable business practice and we all just accept it as truth. Major food chains figured out that they can close their lobbies and save money and that is what is happening in many instances, irrespective of the available labor pool.
Going forward, I’m a lobby closed denier; Congressional hearings should be after the midterms.
About 10 days ago I said to my wife, “Hey, I think that new library is open on Green Hills Road.” She said, “Oh good, I’m going to get by there.” About five days ago, I opened my Platte County Landmark, laughed, and said, “That new library is a culinary library”. My wife laughed and said, “Really?” I tossed her the paper and said, “really!”
A culinary-inspired library center is a new twist for me, but I’m admittedly stuck somewhere around 1995.
I’ve been going to Mid Continent libraries since I was probably eight years old. My mother would pile my older sister and me in an Oldsmobile 98 Regency and we’d make the 30-minute trek from our home to get some “education” in us. She thought it was important that we read. Little did she know how I’d abuse my ability to read. Forming my own opinions and everything.
Anyway, fast forward to present day and some young mother is dragging her kids off to the culinary -inspired library and they’re learning to drink coffee, browse the internet, and whip up a sandwich, throw together a charcuterie board or something and this is progress, my friends.
We mock what we do not understand.
I wonder how much an Oldsmobile 98 Regency weighed. A friend reminded me that he used to ride home from Royals games in the back window of those bad boys. Literally squeezed up there, sleeping while his dad drove them home. He lived and that is another miracle of life.
They were suburban tanks. If we found a few laying around, we might send them to Ukraine.
Gonna save you a trip to the library. The Oldsmobile 98 weighed approximately 4,100 pounds. That’s a hefty gal to take to town.
Truth be told, my mother would take us to the library and McDonald’s. I think I tolerated the library and my sister because the McDonald’s was part of the package. I love the Dewey Decimal System and all, but it didn’t jazz 8-year-old me like a Big Mac and fries.
Maybe that’s the deal with the culinary theme; I have no idea and I have no interest in library fights, those people take their bickering seriously. Let’s just assume whatever my opinion on culinary libraries is, it is wrong.
If they’re whipping up Big Macs with a side of Tolstoy, then I’m in on this trend. Heck, raise my taxes a little if that’s the scoop. Speaking of scoops, if this involves some of the 64 flavors on a sugar cone mixed with some Hemingway, I’m all in, save me a seat.
Anyway, progress ain’t simple folks. Learn to read, but most importantly, if you do learn to read, grab a snack as well. Stay nourished.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at the auto auction, trying to track down some Oldsmobiles)
