Listen, I’m going to level with you here. There’s generally not much that actually gets done in this space every week. Usually, you’ll hear yours truly bloviate about this, that, or the other. Whether it’s the price of taquitos at QuikTrip, or how long my commute to work is – it’s really just observational – like complaining about the weather. But dear reader, I feel that this week, I’ve finally been able to crack a nut that should improve society as a whole. Buckle up.
America, if you’ve been paying attention, has some problems. They’re more than just the normal American problems of it being too cold or your pickup truck getting poor gas mileage. These are some pretty monumental problems. Thanks to the nearly 20-month global pandemic, the American work ethic has shifted. “The Great Resignation” as they’re calling it is a result of changing attitudes to how and what we want to work on. This, along with a few other reasons, has rippled out into the world causing a global supply chain problem. It’s slower to get a cheeseburger. It’s slower to get a customer service agent. It’s slower to get your trash picked up every week.
America has also gotten angrier over the past 20 months. Video after video of confrontations with people about political stances, mask wearing, and the slowness of service are everywhere on TikTok, Facebook, Nightly News, and elsewhere. Karens, it seems, are leading the charge. First off, if your name is Karen and you’re a really nice person, I apologize. That’s got to be pretty frustrating for you, but, since you’re a nice Karen, you probably just wave it off and have a nice bubble bath or something instead of dress down a greeter at WalMart.
People who serve these Karens (and let’s not forget the Brads, too) simply don’t want to put up with the nonsense. Service industry workers are quitting and striking for more pay, better working conditions, and, frankly, some damn respect. Here in our area, Frito-Lay and John Deere workers have both walked off the job asking for better benefits, lower hours, and more pay. You’ve also noticed it at the drive-thru. Lobbies closed because there aren’t enough workers to staff a restaurant. Hair salons and Targets reduce hours because people simply don’t want to put up with the terrible behavior of their customers.
It is here in this column that I change the world. Entitlement is at the root of most of these outbursts. People simply don’t understand what it’s like to work in a service role and have come to expect service with a smile without comprehending everything that goes into it. True, it’s not rocket science, but the logistics of making sure you have everything just right for you to get your Chicken McNuggets does have a science to it. And part of that ecosystem is customers who don’t bark at your staff.
I propose two changes to America. The first is that we reduce the required level of schooling to 11 years, but require that one year of service work be added as a requirement to get a high school diploma. Every teenager needs to work one year as a server or in a warehouse or at a gym – somewhere there’s a traditional minimum wage service job. The second change is that we standardize a Karen law that says if you are charged with a crime of verbal abuse to a service worker, the punishment must be to work 60 days as a service employee. Flip some burgers. Greet people at the Dollar Tree. Answer some phones. Sixty days of people looking at you like you don’t matter or are a sandwich dispenser will take these folks down a peg.
Implementing both these changes in America should help increase the service industry workforce while also allowing everyone to understand just how complex it is to work one of these “menial” jobs.
Please let me know when my Nobel Peace Prize comes in. I’ll be waiting in line at Burger King.
(Catch Chris Kamler on Landmark Live, 6 p.m. Thursday at Platte County Landmark on Facebook as he’ll show off his Marvel movie knowledge and show off Foley’s lack of knowledge of such)