ou know what people do not share their opinions on much anymore? Masks.
If you had fallen into a coma in December of 2019 and woke up last week, you might wish you were back in a coma. You would also wonder what the heck was the deal with masks and virus charts on Facebook. For the love of God, shut up about the masks. Just put one on and act like you believe, kind of like going to church on Sunday.
The worst part about masks in my life is that I am at the early onset of aging and no one ever told me what a terrible time it is remembering all this stuff that it takes me to function each day. I have to have my glasses, my phone, my wallet, my blood pressure meds, and most days I try to wear pants. It has literally begun to consume my days to just have the things I need to get through the day. Now I have to add a mask to the ever-growing list, and I am not pleased. This is why middle aged men have to wear cargo shorts.
My mother was always disappointed in me when I made jokes about religion. I do not think it is her fault that I am skeptical, I just try not to mix the fiction and non-fiction segments of my life library. My fiction section of life is sometimes a little robust for simple things like resurrections.
My daughter is a middle school science teacher. Well that is relatively accurate. She gets paid by a school district, but she does not teach much these days. She drives 45 minutes to my house to swim in my pool, drink my beer and complain about not having school a couple times a week. I am too busy to swim in my pool because I am paying school taxes in the district I live in so that the young teachers in my district can swim at their parent’s pools. Now that she is allegedly going back to teaching school, she complains about the potential health risk.
This is like her third year of teaching and she is already completely indoctrinated by the education system. She knows exactly what items to complain about and probably has the union on speed dial. I am concerned she is already too far gone to save. I suspect she will do something crazy like vote Democrat this November and then we will know she is “all in.”
I am so sports starved that I was watching Twitter this week to see if the Astros were going to get on a plane to Kansas City for the exhibition game Monday night. The saddest part is that there were actual people reporting on the Astros getting on a plane to go to Kansas City for an exhibition game.
We have lost our collective minds, but we have 60 games of baseball to lose ourselves. If Rex Hudler mentions COVID during the broadcasts, I am going to slam my head into my television set. Honestly, if Rex and Ryan could just stick to the baseball, we will all be happy. The Royals can win this thing and then we will see who had the last laugh on 2020.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at email@example.com or paying his school taxes)