Let’s rock this Christmas column. Small town Christmases are like everyone’s doctor, people think theirs is the best. I stumbled upon a nice thread about the best Christmas towns in the United States and one overwhelming choice was Leavenworth, Washington. Apparently, this is a Bavarian village in the Cascade mountains, and it does look pretty, and they have a reindeer farm on the outside of town, which obviously gives them an advantage. Not sure if Rudolph ever did any time there, but it looks possible to me.
Just to confirm that you can’t believe the internet, some people claimed Los Angeles was one of the best Christmas towns in the nation. I’m a bit skeptical of that claim.
Congressman Sam (Santa) Graves is my newest favorite congressman. His office staff (elves) called me last Friday and informed me that they had my two tickets to the Presidential Inauguration reserved for me. I have no idea if this is because they have enough tickets to meet all their requests or because I’m special, I’m going to believe I’m special. Anyway, I’m thrilled with Sam and will probably offer to help him harvest next fall in Tarkio, but until then I have to figure out if I can do this trip to DC.
My excitement over the tickets was quickly muted when I did a hotel room search. The first hotel that I looked at for Inauguration weekend was $1,900 a night. I double checked to see if that included Stormy Daniels, but I don’t think so. Between you and me, that is out of my price range, Stormy or not. I found some hotels a little further away in the $400 range, which still seems like a “yuge” price to pay. I’ll probably fire up a Go Fund Me and see what happens.
Not trying to be political, but if you know of any illegal immigrants that get booted from any Washington DC Hiltons between now and then, let me know. I’ve never confirmed if my ancestors arrived here legally, so I might qualify. Maybe I’m a Dreamer.
I think my people came from Germany and Ireland, which explains everything you need to know about my desire to attend this inauguration. I was born this way, can’t correct that.
I’m also apprehensive about taking the trip for legal reasons. The last time a bunch of Trumpers got together in DC a good portion of them ended up in jail and I’m really not tough enough to do jail time. I’ll probably stay clear of the Capitol, but I’m not much of a climber anyway, so I’d have to be pretty motivated to climb through a window. I’m really not much of an insurrectionist when it gets down to it, I suppose that makes me less of a patriot, but so be it. I do have an American flag in my front yard if that helps.
Anyway, don’t you worry about my trip. I’m analyzing the pros and cons of this on my own, you enjoy your Christmas, and we’ll talk about all this political stuff after the New Year.
(Guy Speckman cannot be reached researching the legal status of his ancestors)
