Let’s all welcome the Sun back into our lives. It’s a round sphere of fire that sits in the sky and warms our planet from time to time. Let’s make it feel welcome.
Every January of my life continues to test my will. My gas meter probably needs replaced at the pace it’s been running and my back hurts from shoveling copious amounts of snow. I’m just starting to wonder why I live here. Seems like some cruel birthright that we all must endure and I’m not sure I have the will to continue to endure or celebrate my Midwestern roots.
So far this winter, I’ve slipped and fallen in a driveway and thought I blew my knee out, shoveled snow for days on end, had an “attic dam” that caused water to leak in my garage, had to thaw out my garage doors more than once to leave my house and my dogs have nearly left me because they have to poop in sub zero temps. It just doesn’t seem worth it anymore.
I used to believe in the philosophical “don’t know a good day until you’ve seen a bad day” type theory of winter, but I’m too old to have such inspirational thoughts anymore. All I know is that it’s cold and I can appreciate spring without having to endure this crap.
I suppose we have another round or two of winter left in us before this ends and I suppose I’ll just continue to use this forum to vent, plan your reading future accordingly.
For those of you interested in truth in reporting, the sun is actually not on “fire.” It is in a state of nuclear fusion in its core. Apparently, you must have oxygen to create fire and that is in short supply at its current location.
A Missouri House committee has pushed forward a bill that would increase the capacity for local school boards to approve more guns in schools. Currently, school districts may designate only teachers or administrators as “school protection officers,” that is fancy words for “packing heat.” The new bill adds other “designated school personnel” to the list. I suppose that means the lunch ladies/dudes or sanitation staff could be “packing heat” in the future.
I am a believer in a good guy with a gun is the best defense against a bad guy with a gun, but I am also shaking my head at the escalation the world is requiring when the lady serving up some Spaghetti Red is also the person we are counting on to take down a crazed school shooter. A typical day now is bake some cinnamon rolls, heat up the spaghetti noodles, shoot intruder, get some milk out of the cooler, off at 3 to pick up kids from daycare.
Do they still keep milk in the cooler? Or has that dated me? Do they still serve milk in schools or is that some type of social no-no? To be honest, I have no idea how the world works anymore. I suppose they have some synthetic milk or milk substitute, probably a kid or two out there with lactose intolerance that changed the system.
I just peeked at the internet. Says schools still offer low fat, 2% milk to students, but they quit making whole milk available in 2012. Rest in Peace, Whole Milk.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at gspeckman@gmail.com or drinking a glass of Grade A Whole Milk)
