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I’m high

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
August 10, 2023
in The Rambling Moron
Marijuana plant
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Picture yourself in a boat on a river / with tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
Somebody calls you / you answer quite slowly / I’m writing my column so high.

At the risk of giving Landmark Live ANOTHER great episode idea, I am coming to you, LIVE, from the remote offices of the Platte County Landmark – high atop the clouds where if I peek over the electric light of the laptop lid, I can see pink elephants dancing with the green clovers, blue diamonds, and leprechauns.

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Please and thank you

Eggs

Mein Tesla

I, my friends, am high. And this time I’m not referring to altitude or proximity to paint fumes. I’m high on the wacky weed. Mary Jane. The reefer. Ganja. The smokey pony. The gummy they DON’T sell at QuikTrip. (At least until you go around to the back.)

No. This isn’t just some opportunity for me to show off how I watched The Barbie Movie. It’s a real, legitimate statement and a bit of a science experiment on my part.

I have been having problems sleeping the past few months here and there. I am a regular user of melatonin, I eat my Wheaties, and I also try to lay off the phone before bed (poorly.) But lately, for whatever reason, sleep has eluded me.

And then one day, ironically while on the pot, it hit me. Are there any alternative sleeping methods I can look into? And I went to my doctor who suggested cannabis. Cannabis? The wave of Kirk Cameron After School Special anxiety swept over me. The ghost of Nancy Reagan looked like she was trying to gain entry into the examination room. That guy who was frying eggs like your brains on drugs was looking at me disappointingly.

We’ve been told since we were kids the dangers and perils of The Chronic. Weed is only taken by rap singers and my grandma who had “glaucoma.” But the weakness of not sleeping made me a little curious. So off to the weed store I went.

Prior to weed becoming legal in Missouri, A 2021 survey by the Pew Research Center found that 24% of adults in Missouri said they had used marijuana in the past year. This suggests that there are at least 1.2 million marijuana users in the state and climbing. And about 300,000 of those are medicinal in nature.
Missouri has seen significant economic benefits from the legalization of marijuana. In the first three months of adult recreational cannabis sales, the state generated $350.2 million in revenue, including $256.2 million of adult-use cannabis and $94 million in medical marijuana. This revenue has been used to fund a variety of programs, including education, infrastructure, and law enforcement.

The legalization of marijuana has also generated significant tax revenue for Missouri. In the first three months of adult recreational cannabis sales, the state collected $21.0 million in state sales tax and $1.2 million in local sales tax. Not to mention the thousands of jobs in Missouri legalization has created for those who have too many tattoos to work elsewhere. In the first three months of adult recreational cannabis sales, the state added an estimated 3,000 new jobs to the economy.

As for me and my journey through the reverse D.A.R.E. program? I’ve never slept better. Remind me to tell you about it on a future Landmark Live. Just… don’t forget the Oreos.

(Check on Chris Kamler’s highness and sleep schedule by following him on Twitter, where he is @TheFakeNed)

Tags: landmark liveplatte countytaxes
Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a cybersecurity architect by day, and pain in the ass by night.

He is a twice-published author, and has over 500 columns with The Landmark under his belt. Chris is a lifelong Northlander with a son and dog.

You can reach him on most of the social networks as Chris Kamler or TheFakeNed.

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