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Pearl clutching

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
February 12, 2020
in The Rambling Moron
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For shame! Have they no morals! There were kids there!!

These were some of the complaints following Wednesday’s Chiefs celebration parade downtown and at the Liberty Memorial. I, along with several hundred thousand were there to cheer and congratulate the local football team for winning their big game.

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This afforded some folks the first opportunity to see professional athletes up close and a few of them took to the Internet – the complaint department of humanity – to complain. During the parade, the Chiefs were provided adult beverages which they drank… and drank… and drank. Sometimes they poured them on themselves. Sometimes they poured them on others. They had a good time. They celebrated. They were cheered. It wasn’t until later that Internet Angry Person reared their ugly heads.

The crux of the complaints was the public drinking. There were no lewd gestures. There were no acts of violence. Just the drinking. A bridge too far for some.

Hey, I get it. Alcohol is just as dangerous as drugs or violence. It really is. I did just about everything dumb I could do with alcohol at the same age as many of these Chiefs. I did not, however, win the Super Bowl or anything. If seeing twenty-somethings drink Budweiser is triggering to you and your family then maybe the National Football League – sponsored by Bud Light and Coors Light and Corona and Maker’s Mark – is not for you. Football is a three and a half hour commercial for beer and pharmaceuticals. This is what our country has chosen to cherish.

Perhaps the best way to de-trigger is to have a crucial conversation with your kids with the message of – alcohol is legal. Do you see that none of them are driving? Never drink and drive, kids. Never hit someone, kids. Respect everyone.

But you didn’t do that, you went to the Internet for instant gratification in the form of a couple of “you so right” or a nice Facebook heart.

We as a society have got to stop complaining online unless we’re willing to actually make action on our complaints. Otherwise it’s just noise. If you’re mad at Travis Kelce for popping of three quarters of the “f” bomb on live television, then you’re probably mad a lot of the time. And that, poor Kelly, just isn’t helpful or healthy. Maybe you should turn to the philharmonic or antique books. Maybe attending a sports function isn’t quite your speed.

Regardless, people won’t stop complaining online just because I complained in this column. No, I don’t quite wield that kind of power. But I do think it should be empowering to challenge these folks to put something good into the world instead of negative. That parade brought hundreds of thousands of people downtown to spend money. The lines outside of t-shirt stores was around the block the night of the Super Bowl. That’s money that goes into our tax coffers. That’s money that can go to improving pot holes or sidewalks or finish the airport.

In the meantime, I’ll be patrolling the Internet looking for wrongs to right. I might, however, be sipping on a cold sudsy beverage when I do it. Please don’t complain to Facebook on me.

(Get more from Chris Kamler on Twitter as @TheFakeNed or find him on Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram or YouTube)

Tags: chris kamlertaxes
Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a 20 year veteran of Information Technology and a nearly 50 year veteran of being a pain in the rear.

He is known for his irreverence through his social media Twitter account @TheFakeNed along with his weekly Landmark columns, sports broadcasts, podcasts, and his book.

Kamler has a wife and a child and is a lifelong Northlander. His list of loves include his family and QuikTrip roller food.

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