• About Us
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Pickem Terms and Conditions
Wednesday, February 8, 2023
The Platte County Landmark Newspaper
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem!
    • Weekly Pickem Updates
    • Results by Week
    • The Leaderboard
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem!
    • Weekly Pickem Updates
    • Results by Week
    • The Leaderboard
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish
No Result
View All Result
The Platte County Landmark Newspaper
No Result
View All Result

Crankier by the year

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
December 18, 2019
in The Rambling Moron
4
SHARES
96
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare via Email

You guys, I’m trying. I really am. But with every year that passes, I can’t help it.

The scowl is nearly permanent now. The frump is noticeable. I have turned into a cranky old man. I am not quite to “get off my lawn” level, although if someone was on my lawn, I’d probably tell them to leave. But I have reached some peak crank this week.

RelatedNews

Rapid fire

RIGGED!

Hugh

Let’s first talk about snow. It sucks. I hate snow. I hate driving in it. I hate shoveling it. I hate trying to walk on it and then when you just get the hang of it, the earth gives way and you fall on your ass. Snow is the absolute worst.

I hate that everything takes longer when it snows. It takes longer to get to work. It takes longer to warm up once you get inside. It takes longer to get dressed to go outside. It takes longer to get anywhere because you have to brush snow off your car and sit inside what seems like a freezer when you’re trying to start your car. You can’t even start your car, then go back inside for 20 minutes like you used to because of thieves and the ozone layer.

And why am I even going to work? We have millions of dollars of technology and I should be able to be working from my house. Or the beach. Or my beach house.

Why am I even trudging down the pothole-filled I-635 when I could be working in my jammies drinking hot cider? It apparently is too dangerous for my kid to go five minutes to school. Hell, do they just cancel school when one snowflake falls? North Kansas City was out Monday AND Tuesday. Why? How? I had to drive to work both days.

I know. I hear myself sounding more and more like Clint Eastwood every second. Except none of this is making my day.

I keep coming back to one simple complaint. Where is my flying car that the Jetsons promised me? All of this crankiness goes away when I can lift my flying car off of my roof, fly over the potholes on my five minute commute to work after dropping my kid off in his delivery pod.

Instead, I get brushing snow, snapped windshield wipers, and a popped tire after hitting a pothole. (All of these things have happened to me in the past 72 hours.) My kid gets to sleep in, and I’m in an office.

I will say that I’m much less cranky when it’s summer, or spring, or fall. At least you can walk outside without putting 19 layers on and drive around potholes you can see instead of black ice.

But for now, I’ll simply frump the face, furrow the brow, frown the scowl. None of this will be better until my car can fly, or the calendar turns to April.

(Get cranky with Chris Kringle Kamler on Twitter, where he is known as @TheFakeNed. Or get warm following Chris Kamler on Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram, or watch some of his old Rambling Moron videos on YouTube)

Tags: chris kamler
Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a 20 year veteran of Information Technology and a nearly 50 year veteran of being a pain in the rear.

He is known for his irreverence through his social media Twitter account @TheFakeNed along with his weekly Landmark columns, sports broadcasts, podcasts, and his book.

Kamler has a wife and a child and is a lifelong Northlander. His list of loves include his family and QuikTrip roller food.

Related Posts

conspiracy theories

The best offense is a good defense

by Brad Carl
February 3, 2023
0

So here we are - the column I didn't want to write. But that Rambling Moron guy forced my hand. I'd like to thank Chris Kamler for mentioning me with such depth. I thought I had already covered "conspiracies" in...

Rapid fire

Rapid fire

by Chris Kamler
January 27, 2023
0

Apparently, I've been working too hard because all I've done in two days of vacation have slept. Also, mediocrity is rewarded. My proof? Carl Cheffers has been named the head referee for the Super Bowl. I guess if you throw...

Conspiracy theories

RIGGED!

by Chris Kamler
January 20, 2023
0

Here's an opportunity to go behind the curtain here at The Landmark a bit. There is a group text chain that features yours truly, our Tech Man Schneider, fellow columnist Guy Speckman, our fearless leader Ivan Foley, and the brief...

Hugh

Hugh

by Chris Kamler
January 13, 2023
0

Imagine walking through the Sistine Chapel and you pass a man carrying cans of paint and a brush. “What are you doing, sir?” You ask. “I've been commissioned to paint the ceiling. I'm thinking about a mural.” Imagine at that...

Next Post

Auditor says 'more can be done' to protect taxpayers at Ferrelview

Popular News

  • First Watch is open at Tiffany Springs

    First Watch is open at Tiffany Springs

    40 shares
    Share 16 Tweet 10
  • Caution tape around downtown building

    30 shares
    Share 12 Tweet 8
  • Sheriff’s office planning to move out of Platte City

    18 shares
    Share 7 Tweet 5
  • KC’s new airport ready to fly on Feb. 28

    12 shares
    Share 5 Tweet 3
  • Culinary-inspired library planned at Green Hills

    101 shares
    Share 40 Tweet 25
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Pickem Terms and Conditions
Call us at 816-858-0363

Copyright © 2019-2020 The Platte County Landmark Newspaper - All Rights Reserved

No Result
View All Result
  • Subscribe Online
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem
    • Login / Sign-up
    • Results by Week
    • The Leaderboard
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish

Copyright © 2019-2020 The Platte County Landmark Newspaper - All Rights Reserved