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Sure, let’s talk about sarcasm, sunshine and dunk tanks

Ivan Foley by Ivan Foley
August 7, 2019
in Between the Lines
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Not to boast, but I feel like I know a thing or two about sarcasm and feel like I’m pretty good at spotting it.

So my favorite part of the letter to the editor on this page is the part where the letter writer takes issue with our headline last week that referred to Parkville Mayor Nan Johnston’s responses to our questions as “sarcastic.” The letter writer suggests referring to those responses as “sarcastic” was editorializing in a front page headline.

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Let’s analyze that for a second. If Johnston’s comments were not sarcastic, it would mean the mayor was really being serious when she said this:

“We want to take away ALL the parking on Main Street to punish the owners of buildings we do not like. We only invited those property owners we knew would agree with this plan and do not want any public input on this because, well…. This is what we do here in Parkville as you have widely reported. If we get too much pushback on taking away parking on Main Street, we will close the public parking lot as well.”

Hmmm. You can’t have it both ways. Either Johnston was being sarcastic or she really does want to punish the owners of buildings she does not like. If it’s the former, the headline is factually accurate. If it’s the latter, we have an even bigger story than the one that reported on the mayor getting sarcastic.

The headline and story actually did Johnston a favor by pointing out to readers her comments were sarcastic rather than reporting them as fact.


Don’t know that I’ve said it lately but I love this job.


Maybe someday I’ll write a sarcastic column about sarcasm.


Wait, now I’m starting to confuse myself.


It has been nearly two months since a Sunshine Law request was made to the City of Parkville for “all public records and communications stored on any of the city officials private email servers.”

To date, Jason Maki of Citizens for a Better Parkville says he has not received any indication from the city if it plans on acting upon it, rejecting it, etc. “All we have received is an informal and brief email from the city attorney indicating they received our request,” Maki says.

“It’s our position that the city should produce these records because it has a legal duty to do so; production would be consistent with public policy and emerging practice in regard to Sunshine Law compliance; and production would be consistent with the city’s stated and codified intent to operate beyond ethical reproach,” Maki said.


Nothing new from the state attorney general’s office on its review (investigation) into Sunshine Law compliance by the City of Parkville. As we’ve mentioned previously, the attorney general has put a lockdown on the city’s responses to the inquiry, not releasing the information for public consumption just yet, which is interesting in itself and possibly an indication that the AG is taking what the city has called “a review” very seriously.


I made my once a year trip to Chiefs training camp in St. Joseph on Friday. Some odds and ends observations from that morning:

*Marcus Kemp, second year wide receiver, was having an awful time on Friday. I counted at least four dropped passes in the short time I was watching the receivers go one-on-one against defensive backs. It prompted some fan sitting in the bleachers to yell to Kemp: “Come sit over here.” Brutal. It was so bad Nan Johnston wrote an angry email about it, carbon copying the entire National Football League.

I did see video from the next practice, held Saturday, in which Kemp made a nice grab and turned it into a touchdown. So maybe he redeemed himself. But if coaches decide Kemp isn’t fit for the final roster, that case of the dropsies in the Friday practice will rank up there as one of the reasons they lack confidence.

  • Quarterback Patrick Mahomes was on target and looked confident as heck. No surprise.
  • Jody Fortson, No. 1 in your program but not yet in your heart, is very tall. And he’s from somewhere called Valdosta State. That’s all I got.
  • Receiver Sammy Watkins was having a good day. So was rookie receiver Mecole Hardman.
  • I continue to be intrigued by third year defensive player Tanoh Kpassagnon, listed as a linebacker this year. He is 6’7” tall and continues to show flashes of someday being a standout. Of course I said that last year, too. Hoping this is the year.
  • Off-season acquisition Tyrann Mathieu, the safety known as the Honey Badger, looked strong and as aggressive as you’d expect with a nickname like that. Expect good things.

Mike Reik and Ivan Foley are the confirmed participants at this time. Sure, you might think I’m talking about a beefcake convention. But actually it’s a dunk tank for charity.

Don’t know why I said yes when the Platte City Police Department asked me to sit on the suspended seat over the dunk tank they’ll have at Tuesday night’s Cops and Kids event. But I did. That means you’ll have the chance to throw a ball at a target and, if you’re lucky enough to hit it, apparently it drops me into some kind of tank full of water. At least they’ve told me it’ll be full of water. Better verify that before I assume the position.

Look for me sitting in the danger seat sometime around 6 p.m. on Platte City’s Main Street Tuesday night. I’ll be the guy with a floatie around his waist wearing a nose plug, a shower cap and flippers.

Come throw your fastball. At this point let’s emphasize you throw at the target, not at the person in the dunk chair.

Give it your best shot. It’s for a good cause. We might take this deal live on Facebook.

(Dunk Foley via email to ivan@plattecountylandmark.com and get more on Facebook at Platte County Landmark, on Twitter @ivanfoley or find him in the office at 252 Main in Platte City)

Tags: Nan Johnstonparkvilleplatte cityplatte countypolicePublic Safetysunshine lawSunshine Laws
Ivan Foley

Ivan Foley

Ivan Foley, longtime owner/publisher of the Platte County Landmark, is a past winner of the national Gish Award for courage, tenacity and integrity in rural journalism, presented by the Institute for Rural Journalism and Community Issues at the University of Kentucky. He lives in Platte County not far from KCI Airport.

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