Occasionally, you’ll hear a whisper of it. Maybe you’re in line at the grocery store and someone slips up. Possibly, you see a quickly deleted social media posting referencing it. It is more secretive than the Illuminati and more complicated than getting into Harvard without bribing someone.
Today, for the first time in print, the lid will be removed and the truth exposed. I am speaking, of course, about the “secret” backdoor road that will allow you to get from the west side of Liberty to the east side of Liberty in under 45 minutes.
“Oh no, that doesn’t exist,” the locals will cry out. Then they’ll grin slyly as they return to their SUV’s packed with unmelted ice cream bars they purchased from the grocery store on the east side of Liberty.
It exists. I know it does. And it’s about to become the worst kept secret in the Northland now that construction has ramped up on the Hwy. 152 bridge over I-35.
So last Saturday, I set out to find this flyover secret passageway. It was rumored to be on Flintlock street, but Google Maps and Siri can’t tell you the exact location. It was rumored to be a way to go east but you must first go south. It is rumored to have no stop lights, and a modest speed limit but was in a residential neighborhood.
My journey took me south and then east, but I encountered a roundabout at some point which pointed me back north and west and then maybe south again.
Admittedly, I got turned around. I think I found Flintlock. I think I found all seven streets named “Liberty”, which seems really redundant and passed not one, not two, but three Home Depots. It could also have just been the same one. Like I said, I got turned around.
Whoever designed the retail orgy at Highway 152 and I-35 clearly also designed the Flintlock Flyover. It is poorly labeled and really doesn’t flyover anything. It’s more like calling 435 the Northland Flyover when you want to get to the airport from Olathe. You’re still going to be in your car for a while.
Friends, I’m here to tell you that I have traveled the secret passageway the locals in Liberty whisper about. I’m here to explain that these Clay Countians are full of bull and proud of what we westerners call a “side street.”
There is only one true way to flyover the mayhem and gridlock of Liberty. There’s only one escape of the Home Depot/Target/Lowes/Best Buy/Wal-Mart/15 Verizon store grotesqueness. There is only one way to avoid what Liberty, Missouri has become and it’s never been a secret.
The answer? Move to Platte County. The only flyover we’ve got is the airport.
(Never fly over Chris Kamler on Twitter, where he is known as @TheFakeNed. Find him on Snapchat , Instagram, YouTube and occasionally on Landmark Live)