• About Us
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Pickem Terms and Conditions
Friday, July 1, 2022
The Platte County Landmark Newspaper
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem!
    • Login / Sign-up
    • Results by Week
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem!
    • Login / Sign-up
    • Results by Week
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish
No Result
View All Result
The Platte County Landmark Newspaper
No Result
View All Result

CYA according to Weatherpeople

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
March 6, 2019
in The Rambling Moron
4
SHARES
97
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare via Email

There used to be a Twitter account called @NFLDraftPicks100 that seemed to have an uncanny ability to guess who a football team was going to draft weeks in advance. They knew the Chiefs would not only pick Patrick Mahomes, but also some 5th round kid out of Murray State.

In and of itself, this isn’t a particularly rewarding skill, unless you could monetize the site and help bettors in Vegas place cheap bets before the odds changed on a team.

RelatedNews

Fifty

Left in a box

The heat is on

So the gamblers came to the owner of this site and immediately found his secret. The owner of the Twitter account would spray 10 or 20 different picks out around three weeks ahead of the draft. The Chiefs select Mitch Trubisky. The Chiefs select Patrick Mahomes. The Chiefs select Deshawn Watson. And then on draft day, he would delete the two wrong tweets, leaving a three week old tweet “predicting” the true event.

For some reason, I recalled this guy’s genius over the past week while watching the weather. Long gone are the days of “Dan Henry said it would be like this.” And here are the days where Saturday’s weather has nine different forecasts depending on what day and hour of the report.

Let’s consider this, the only magic trick weather forecasters can do is tell you it’s going to snow in a week. This, admittedly, is their only skill. Being able to give me a week head start to know that snow will fall from the sky. From there, it’s gambling.

First off, there are five weather people that work for TV stations now. So you automatically have five times the number of forecasts. Joe Lauria could say on Monday he thinks it’s going to snow six inches, and Gary Lezak could say he thinks it’s going to snow three. Boom. You’ve already dotted two boxes on your weather BINGO card. Then they use the ranges for snow. It’s not six inches it’s 4-7 inches. It’s not one inch it’s “a trace to three inches.” That’s an old roulette trick called covering the field.

The newest smoke-and-mirror trick they’ve come up with is giving you the data straight off the four global forecast services. On Tuesday, I watched one of the stations put up four totally different forecasts about how much it was going to snow Sunday and they literally ranged from one inch to 10 inches. You know what? That “forecast” happened to be right because I got about an inch and a half of snow at my house for two hours early in the morning of Sunday that was completely melted by noon. But Super Doppler Weather Forecaster Person can say he or she was “right on the money” and take a bow.

So here, for the readers of The Landmark, I will submit my Rambling Morons 2019 Spring Forecast that you can take to the bank.

According to the window in my office, temperatures will hit 60 degrees for the first time between today and June 30. This is a guarantee! According to multiple data sources, that temperature on March 28 for the Royals Home Opener will be between 0 and 82 degrees with a possibility for rain or snow or wind or sunshine.

There you go, readers! Another stone cold lock forecast!

(Get stone cold lock weather forecasts and other pearls of wisdom from Chris Kamler on Twitter where he is known as @TheFakeNed. You can also find him on Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube)

Tags: chris kamler
Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a 20 year veteran of Information Technology and a nearly 50 year veteran of being a pain in the rear.

He is known for his irreverence through his social media Twitter account @TheFakeNed along with his weekly Landmark columns, sports broadcasts, podcasts, and his book.

Kamler has a wife and a child and is a lifelong Northlander. His list of loves include his family and QuikTrip roller food.

Related Posts

50 Years

Fifty

by Chris Kamler
June 30, 2022
0

Time is weird. As humans, we have a really strange relationship with time. On the one hand, we can watch a 25 minute sitcom and it seems like it takes an eternity. On the other, years can pass by in...

The World Cup

A book update, The World Cup, fake news

by Ivan Foley
June 30, 2022
0

Remember that upcoming book by Landmark columnist Chris Kamler that we talked about several weeks back? Sure you do. "It is fully written. I have it out getting proofed and I'm working on a cover," Kamler told me this week....

Left in a box

Left in a box

by Chris Kamler
June 23, 2022
0

My son had been gone nearly seven days. Occasionally we'd get a text or see a random Snapchat from his journey. A couple of buddies and he had taken off for San Francisco last week to visit a good friend...

The heat is on

The heat is on

by Chris Kamler
June 17, 2022
0

Get out the Gold Bond people because summer has arrived like a drunken relative at Thanksgiving excited to show you his new tattoo. Here in Kansas City we have finally survived fake spring, second and third winter, and had about...

Next Post

City of Parkville needs discipline, not new taxes

Popular News

  • Mexican restaurant

    Mexican restaurant opens in Briarcliff Village

    79 shares
    Share 32 Tweet 20
  • July 4th in Platte City: Free food, music, games

    41 shares
    Share 16 Tweet 10
  • Authorities seek two persons of interest in shooting

    28 shares
    Share 11 Tweet 7
  • Evergy catching static

    13 shares
    Share 5 Tweet 3
  • Parkville sanctuary is a chance to connect with nature

    9 shares
    Share 4 Tweet 2
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Pickem Terms and Conditions
Call us at 816-858-0363

Copyright © 2019-2020 The Platte County Landmark Newspaper - All Rights Reserved

No Result
View All Result
  • Subscribe Online
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem
    • Results by Week
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish

Copyright © 2019-2020 The Platte County Landmark Newspaper - All Rights Reserved

Are you sure want to unlock this post?
Unlock left : 0
Are you sure want to cancel subscription?