I owe some of you an apology. I had no idea how cold your noggin gets for bald people. I withheld sympathy from many of you because of my lack of awareness. As I have noted previously, my hair line has been in a race to the top of my head for the last decade and it appears that I am in the throes of male pattern baldness and stocking caps have become an integral part of my life. I apologize to each and all of you for withholding sympathy. I’m working on being a better person.
Speaking of stocking caps, I stood in a 30-person deep line at TJ Max this weekend to purchase two stocking caps. I normally would not stand in line to purchase anything beyond a beer but see my rationale above. Anyway, as I stood in this line to purchase the clearance stocking caps, it dawned on me how weird humans are. We literally shop for entertainment, and it seems odd to me. While I was visibly miserable in this mass of humanity, many of the people in line with me appeared to be having the time of their lives picking through the plethora of useless items that line the waiting corridors. Maybe I’ve lost my way with humanity and I don’t understand shopping, but it just seems an odd use of our time. Carry on.
I’m not really working on being a better person. I’m kind of stuck at the current version of myself and don’t really anticipate any major changes, calendar be damned.
I’m not sure if stocking caps were subject to tariffs, but I got two of them for $13, which seems reasonable. Just proof that we must be back as a country to me.
I’ve been searching the news to find out the pronouns for the soldiers that executed the removal and extraction of the leader of Venezuela. If you guys see that reported, please let me know.
Basically, the United States military removed a dictator and opened up unlimited oil, some rare earth minerals, and drugs for the American consumer. God Bless the USA. Don’t @ me with your foreign policy takes. You don’t know all the why’s and neither do I, this column is a safe space for irony, please don’t disrupt that.
As I was writing this column, I stumbled upon the Platte County Prosecutor Zahnd press reports and his dissatisfaction with the Platte County budget. Just to refresh, I’m partial to anything Eric Zahnd. His dad was a judge in Savannah when I first entered professional life and he was nice to me, so I remember that.
I laughed a little bit over the entire debate. According to Zahnd he wants money back that he sent to Scott Fricker’s reelection campaign and Fricker says it was $100. Mostly I laughed because I thought of Foley having to cover this school yard bluster over $100. If Foley weren’t so cheap, he’d probably just give Zahnd $100 in lieu of covering this “political fight.” We are just five days into the new year, and we already have a local political skirmish for him to cover. God is good and apparently loves irony.
I say we just have a department wide mud wrestling or donkey basketball game to solve this. County commissioners and staff vs. prosecutor’s office. Winner gets whatever they want out of the budget. Seems fair. Loser has to call Platte County property owners and tell them their new property tax assessments for the assessors office. Killed three birds with one stone.
I’m a problem solver. You’re welcome.
(Guy Speckman can be reached solving political problems for local governments)
