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Mein Tesla

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
April 18, 2025
in The Rambling Moron
random thoughts
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Owning a Tesla used to be a statement—a declaration that you cared about the planet, technology, and the undeniable cool factor of a car that can parallel park itself. But lately, it seems like driving one has become less about reducing carbon footprints and more about shouldering the blame for Elon Musk’s ever-expanding “bull in a China shop” routine in government.

Take me, for instance. I didn’t buy my Tesla to make a political statement. I bought it because I wanted to help the environment and have the satisfaction of never having to pump gas again. But all of that went out the window last week when I was flipped off on the highway… by a Volkswagen driver. Oh, the irony. A brand with historical baggage heavier than a museum of stolen art at my futuristic, eco-friendly ride? It was almost poetic—if poetry involved road rage.

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The Tesla experience has shifted from one of quiet pride to sheer survival. Once, people would nod approvingly at my car, as if we shared a silent camaraderie in saving the planet. Now, I get glares that scream, “Down with Musk!”

It’s a strange new world for Tesla owners—especially for those of us who aren’t here for the downsizing of government or selling cryptocurrency. We’re here because we value efficiency and innovation. I really, really like my car. Just as I’ve liked others in my past. I still wax longingly about my first car, a 1976 Ford F-100, 3 on the tree. Color: Burnt Orange. This beauty featured rusted out floorboards that would splash water into my face from the front tire when it rained.
My Tesla appears to be slightly more waterproof.

I wanted a car that aligns with our environmental values and—let’s be honest—gets software updates faster than most people upgrade their phones. I didn’t sign up for this social backlash; I signed up for zero emissions and a sleek dashboard that makes me feel like I’m piloting a spaceship.

Still, the animosity is palpable. Protesters picket Tesla showrooms, they firebombed a Tesla dealership a month back, and I am the proud owner of a bumper sticker (bought partly out of self-preservation) that reads “Anti-Elon Tesla Club.”

Meanwhile, I face these road warriors who seem to believe my car is a proxy vote for everything they despise. That Volkswagen driver’s gesture of disapproval was not just ironic—it was a masterclass in missing the point. If they’d done their research, they might have realized that Teslas contribute to cutting emissions, not government red tape. And also that their VW Bug was made for the German army in the lead up to World War II and “that” guy personally owned one even though he didn’t own a driver’s license.

So, what’s the solution? Should we Teslans (is that a thing?) organize a PR campaign to reclaim our reputation? A parade of Tesla drivers wearing T-shirts that read, “Saving the planet, not endorsing the billionaire?” Or should we lean into the absurdity of it all and start calling ourselves the Silent EV Majority?

For now, the solution appears to be to shame the REAL criminals here. Those who embody all there is to hate about Elon and firing armed forces veterans and dismantling the Department of Education. Yes, something so polarizing that you are either for it… or against it… At least for now, we can pour all of our fury into those who own a Cybertruck.

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a cybersecurity architect by day, and pain in the ass by night.

He is a twice-published author, and has over 500 columns with The Landmark under his belt. Chris is a lifelong Northlander with a son and dog.

You can reach him on most of the social networks as Chris Kamler or TheFakeNed.

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