I thought Josh Hawley and Lucan Kunce were going to fight at the Missouri State Fair last week. Senate incumbent Hawley and challenger Kunce went face to face in an impromptu debate and finger pointing that was cringe at best. I’m not sure who regulates all this, but we gotta drain some testosterone from politics. We got pencil neck men, weightlifting women and everyone in between thinking they’re tough guys and it’s embarrassing to watch. Can the Department of Health step in and pass an emergency ordinance on this or something? Maybe measure testosterone levels when they fill out their ballot paperwork.
If we wanted a tough guy to be our senator, we’d send the former Platte City public works director to Washington. Clean it up, fellows.
If they don’t clean it up, somebody go find Mills Lane and let’s at least get a referee in the ring with these guys and see who really is tough. No boxing. MMA style. Hawley and Kunce are first up and then I want to see Ted Cruz fight that O’Rourke dude. No cross gender or same-party battles. Marjorie Taylor Greene draws AOC for sure and I’d pay a year’s worth of Landmark salary to see anyone body slam Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders.
Bad news. Mills Lane died in 2022. Going to have to go back road style, no ref. Fight to surrender.
Let’s move the Royals downtown and the Chiefs to Wyandotte County and put a multi-county regional jail at Truman Sports Complex. You don’t owe me anything for these ideas, they’re free.
Actually, that’s a pretty decent idea, somebody call Frank White and slide this paper under the Platte County Commission door.
Some days I’m sad that I have never told you guys my pronouns. But most days I remember that I’m sane and think you ought to be able to figure it out without adding it to my email.
If you’re a sports fan, the next few months will be off the charts. The Royals could play in the playoffs and may have the best player in baseball. The Chiefs begin an unprecedented run to compete for a third straight Super Bowl title and do have the best player in football. Area college football looks really good with Kansas, Missouri and Kansas State all looking to have good to great seasons. Might save your sick days for late fall, cause this one might take some energy.
Speaking of sports. Besides saving democracy, sports betting is on the ballot in Missouri this November. It seems anti-climatic at this point. Took an initiative petition to get something before the voters that could have been done by our legislators. They should be embarrassed that this had to happen this way, but probably not. Not sure if I’ve told you this lately, but Jefferson City politics are beyond broken and have been for a long time.
(Guy Speckman can be reached preparing to save democracy and legalize gambling in November)
