I am astonished nearly every day at the new world order and the new language use of choice. Somehow, we have slowly changed our daily vocabulary to meet some misguided agenda of equality. Beyond the hot button ticket of calling obvious men as women and he becoming she, we’ve moved on to other less descriptive language use to make everyone feel better, I suppose.
Businesses that have lost money, market share and such now refer to “theft” as “shrinkage.” Somehow, in this ludicrous time that we live, it is just too damn obvious to call theft, theft, so we are stuck with “shrinkage,” presumably making thieves feel better about themselves. Listening to business reporters give an update on Dick’s Sporting Goods and their shrinkage problems was comedic entertainment recently.
Real estate professionals are now warned to quit using the word “master” as part of a bedroom description. Why, do you ask? Because we have lost our minds. You never know when somebody in 2023 might think you are making a slavery reference when you tell them you need some new carpet in your “master” bedroom, right? It’s a “primary” bedroom from now on, until some primates get offended.
Obviously “his and her” bathrooms are also out. Wouldn’t want to insult the “his and his” buyers.
Also, there is no longer a butler’s pantry, maid’s room or nursery. I suppose the “butler and maid” unions decided this was bad or something, I have no idea, I’ve never had a decent butler or maid. Who cares, you ask?
The Department of Housing and Urban Development is who. This is true stuff. Real estate agents could face fines for using certain wrong words in their listings. The HUD’s Fair Housing 150-Banned Words/Phrases List includes: Board Approval, Couple, Disabled, Employed, Empty Nesters, Exclusive, Executive, Families, Family, Golden Age, Grandma’s House, Healthy, Independent Living, Job References, Kid, Kids, Lady, Male, Man, Mature, Membership Approval, Men, Newlyweds, No Children, No Play Area, Person, One Person, Perfect for Two, Prestigious, Private Community, Professional, Religious Landmarks (like near a church), Restricted, Retired, Retirees, Seasonal Worker, Senior, Single, Smoker, Student, Traditional, Two People, Wheelchair, Young, Youth.
It is literally a “whitewashing” (I doubt that is an acceptable word, either) of our communication and it has made communication less informative and that might be the goal. It’s scary if you still remember when words simply meant something and didn’t need to be softened to fulfill an agenda. Eventually I suppose we will run out of words that don’t offend someone or something and maybe that will finally silence us.
Yes, I roll my eyes every time I see someone tell me what their pronouns are. I spent 57 years making a judgment call on this and was in the high 90 percentile of being correct without anyone ever telling me their gender. I got this.
Babies and old white dudes sometimes throw me for a loop on the gender, but that’s when I just skip the gender references. “Beautiful little girl” becomes “beautiful baby” and “good morning, mam” is shortened to “good morning.” Solved this problem in one paragraph, you’re welcome.
Speaking of this stuff, I am now confused on opening doors. Am I still supposed to open doors for women? What if it is a woman that identifies as a man? Or an obvious man that dresses like a woman? Do I pop over there and open a door, or no? I mean, if “she’s” got Popeye forearms, shouldn’t she just grab her own door?
Where has Miss Manners gone when we need her most? Can you say Miss? I better quit while I’m behind. Can we still say “behind” or have the “a-holes” objected? I suppose I’m just not enlightened enough to understand.
“Watch your language” is the only advice that I can give you, which is hopefully something your female mother already taught you.
(Guy Speckman can be found opening doors for all genders)
