Ankles, schools and column etiquette

Patrick Mahomes

Patrick Mahomes

I am “need a space heater at all times” years old.


A lot of you are being selfish and not offering your ankles to Patrick Mahomes. You’re not using a perfectly good ankle this weekend. Show some pride and make the offer or kindly see yourself off the bandwagon. Honestly, if you won’t volunteer your ankles, if you got a “beefy” lady friend, offer hers.


I’m spending most of my limited mental resources worrying about Pat’s ankle this week, so don’t get your hopes up on this column. Just not feeling it.


I have long been a believer that beer should only be bought and consumed in six pack increments when out and about. I’m not willing to compromise on this. Don’t bring your 12 or 30 pack ways around me, I will have none of it, it’s not American.


Just a friendly column etiquette matter. If you are emailing me to express a contrary opinion, please don’t. Ok, if you really decide that it is important, go ahead, but if your reply or rebuttal is longer than my entire column to which you are disagreeing with a portion, I don’t see the point and will only skim your words, and probably just the short ones. My favorite email response is still from the Parkville resident that told me to “smoke a muffler” on a combustion engine car. That got me in the feels. Quick and to the point.
I don’t have many rules, but that’s hard and fast rule, please communicate accordingly going forward.


For the sake of fairness, I understand if you skim this column.


School report cards are out for the 21-22 school year. The Missouri Show-Me Institute issues rankings each year. Here are some of the rankings: Platte County R-3-2.20 GPA, 115th out of 516 schools. Park Hill 2.00 GPA, 162nd. West Platte, 2.88 GPA, 25th in the state. North Platte 1.70 GPA, 293rd.

The GPA is a consolidation of varying costs and performance factors for each school, not a compilation of student performance.
Schools hate these rankings. I think they are interesting, because they’re not typical school propaganda, but they are probably right-leaning propaganda. They are obviously skewed by demographics and size which both supports and hurts the credibility of school rankings. I believe demographics are the leading “causation” for “success” or “failure” in schools. Schools often use the same argument to support their causes. Schools and education-based groups want to credit successful schools while failed schools get blamed on demographics.

You can’t have it both ways. The number one school in the state according to Show Me rankings is Gasconade C-4 in Laclede County with a 4.00 GPA. The worst, Riverview Gardens in St. Louis, with a 0.20 GPA. West Platte is the highest ranked area school at 25th with Kearney clocking in at 36th and Blue Springs at 45th.

I think I got less than a 0.20 one semester of college, so there is still hope for Riverview.

The high school I graduated from ranked 466th, so that hurts a bit as well.

All to be taken with a grain of salt, but still interesting. Check it out at moschoolrankings.org.

(Guy Speckman cannot be reached. He is in line volunteering to massage Pat’s ankle)

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