Wordplay, political wrestling and such

Wordplay

“Attorney General Eric Schmitt rolled to a smashing victory in the U.S. Senate race with 45% of the vote. Congresswoman Hartzler came in second with 22%. In a change of pace, it was the woman beating Eric Greitens, instead of the other way around, he came in a distant third with a weak 18%.”

That was the quote from Missouri Times publisher Scott Faughn’s lead story in the Missouri Times last week, summarizing the Missouri Republican Senate primary. Read it again. That is just pure brilliance in wordplay. Pure word porn, probably outlawed on the internet. Everyone else should step away from the keyboard after that lede; not sure it can be topped.


I failed Economics II twice while attending Northwest Missouri State University. If anyone sees Dr. Ben Collier, tell him I mostly survived the real world without understanding the Laffer Curve. Anyway, despite my collegiate failures, I’m smart enough to know that the decisions to spend billions on climate change by the United States government will not lower inflation. In fact, I suspect most of you know that. Common sense is in plentiful supply here in the Midwest but scarce out east.

I think our government may be working against us most days. Carry on.


For those of you who believe this fantasy that we can control the climate I’d like to point out to you that the United States controls 6.1% of the world’s land mass. 6.1%. Just for kicks, let’s look at Russia. Oh yes, they have 11% of the world’s land mass under control and they are currently bombing the crap out of their neighbor on a daily basis, but I’m sure they’re going to do whatever they can to control the climate with us.

And we all trust China to be in on this with us. They have 6.3% of the world’s land mass, this should work out fine.

We can’t control a virus, immigration, drugs, crime, and a host of other things, but somehow we are going to get this climate thing under control. This is complete human arrogance at work.

We’ll keep sending our cash to Washington and someday we will have a big all electric cars and tractors parade. It’ll be fun.


If you have not caught the Dick Cheney advertisement for his daughter’s primary race, you gotta watch it. It’s basically a version of the Jack Danforth ad that we are getting here in Missouri, but with a tough guy Wyoming spin. I loved Dick Cheney. Voted for his ticket at least twice, but I’m also an enthusiastic fan of retired war horses staying in the stable.

This thing is laughable with bitter ex-vice president and father Cheney sporting a cowboy hat and spending millions in TV dollars to defend his daughter but mostly mutter insults at former President Trump. It’s like your mother taught you. They’re going to “drag you down to their level” and it looks like we are officially there. Trump and Dick Cheney wrestling in the Wyoming mud and all us taxpayers are just dreaming about politicians that might want to do something for us.


I’d pay good American-made dollars to see Dick Cheney and Donald Trump mud wrestle. How much money could that make? Cheney’s got the pig heart transplant and Trump is probably not quite in fighter shape, so it would have to be short rounds, but the pay per view haul would bring in millions that we could send to Ukraine. Just a thought that might be more reasonable than all these stupid ads.

(Guy Speckman can be reached at gspeckman@me.com or setting up political mud wrestling events)

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