The Platte County Fair is fast approaching. If you don’t like carnival rides, demolition derbies, cornhole and food on sticks then we can’t be friends. You should move on to the next column.
The deadline to enter your little ones in the Missy and Master contest is July 11. I suppose this is akin to a baby contest. In the early years of parenting, my wife was a manager in the Hardee’s chain, which was good if you liked cheeseburgers, but not so great if you wanted a decent work schedule. Anyway, for some crazy reason, I entered my son in a baby contest in the DeKalb County Fair on a day she was at work. I was the only father that “presented” the baby for the judging.
I suspect my clothes choice for him and me was lacking a bit. Photos confirm I went with the jean shorts and put him in a onesie that was only mildly stained with formula. Honestly, my shirt probably had formula stains as well. Basic weekend attire for both of us. (This was before formula had to be airlifted to the USA from Germany)
I think he/we got last place. It’s stuck with me for 30+ years. I’ve basically blamed it on his mother’s genetics since then, but it still hurts. I’m trusting they don’t rank them from first to last anymore and everyone gets a ribbon or something now to prevent this type of long-term mental anguish.
Looking at past photos of the Missy/Master contest from Platte County has eased my concerns. It looks like everyone gets a cool sash to wear and there is not a person alive on this planet that has not wanted to wear a sash from time to time.
This reminds me that I have never worn a sash and it makes me sad.
I’m going to present a proposal to Foley to sponsor a cornhole team, but he strikes me as more of a mutton buster, so he may be busy with the rodeo portion of the Fair. I’ll let you know.
I’ve participated on a couple of greased pig contests and I’m equally bad at catching greased up pigs as I am at presenting babies. I once served on a team that included now Senator Dan Hegeman. Hegeman grew up on a dairy farm and he wasn’t any good at catching pigs either. I suspect he’s better with a set of teats, but I cannot confirm that personally.
The other greased pig contest was when I was a pre-teen, and that night was the moment I realized I was slow afoot for a human. Up until then I guess I had not been aware that I was not fast, in fact I was/am slow. Anyway, it was useful information to find out, but it was rather disappointing to learn this news in front of the entire community.
The Platte County Fair is really off the hook for number of classic events. I strolled through the flyers this weekend and if you want a must-see event, I recommend the kids games that they are hosting at the pavilion adjacent to Floral Hall. Cash prizes for the top three winners in hog watering, egg toss, bale bucking and money in the haystack. Kids 3-12 can participate.
If Foley doesn’t do a cornhole team, I’m willing to challenge the rest of the Landmark staff and ownership in a friendly hog watering challenge. Meet you at the Fair.
(Guy Speckman can be found practicing his hot watering at random farms in the area)