Olympics, Brad Pitt smell and such

Brad Pitt

The Chinese are going to be a little disappointed in the world’s lack of attention to their Olympic hosting effort. Just kind of hard to get motivated for what a bang-up job they are doing. Feel like we kind of wasted the majority of our attention on that virus that they sent this way. Life’s not fair, even for communist regimes that can’t keep their viruses in the right vials.


If you lost your house on my Super Bowl prediction last week, you’re welcome. Education is important and you have learned that I might not know what I am talking about, and betting football is a hobby and not a money-making scheme. If you want a money-making scheme buy some Bitcoin or Amway.

Anyway, I said take the Rams and give up 4.5 points. The Rams won by three points. If they had made that extra point, and you got lucky with a line of four points, it would have been a “push,” or tie, which is like losing worse than really losing. As my old high school football coach used to say, a tie is like “kissing your sister.” I don’t want to know how people know that.

Other than general greeting kisses, that’s near illegal in most states, but check with your local prosecutor to be sure.

Regardless, if you paid attention and lost, I’m going to throw this education in for free. Not sure bargains like this go around every day.


My wife and I have become Platte County residents and moving from Andrew County, it’s something akin to Jed Clampett moving to Beverly Hills, without the oil money. You city people sure like your roundabouts but I don’t see much difference between roundabouts and rolling four way stops that country folk favor.

First full week in the new house and hot water heater went out. Some big city plumber conglomerate tried to hoodwink us into a $2600 water heater and wanted us to wait five days to get it installed. Luckily, I fell off the turnip truck long ago and I smoked that thing out. Platte City-based Snyder Plumbing saved the day and installed for a much less expensive price and did it the next morning. I hope I don’t need plumbers a lot, but if I do, I’m a Snyder man at this point.


I read that some celebrities don’t shower daily. Apparently, they believe it is harmful to the natural oils and such. Brad Pitt said he did not bathe regularly because he is a busy father. After the first day sans water heater, I asked the wife if I was starting to smell like she imagined Brad smells. She refused to smell me and scoffed at the idea that Brad and I had anything in common in the world of smell or looks. I humbly disagree.


At an advanced age, my stepfather used to say he was just going to take a “whore’s bath” on some days. This is apparently just using a washrag and bowl of water for your daily cleaning needs.

I countered my wife’s insult about my “Brad smell” with, “are you going to take a whore’s bath.”

I need a place to stay for a few days.

(Guy Speckman can be reached at gspeckman@me.com or doing promotional pieces for Snyder Plumbing)

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