Set your column expectations in the lower range for this piece of work. I moved last week. I barely know where my underwear is, fairly good guess I’m not finding a Pulitzer Prize winning column idea.
I’m writing this before that rodent weather predictor sets out his forecast. I don’t believe rodent weather forecasters; you believe what you want but it seems to not be consistent with known science. Perhaps Punxsutawney Phil should be “de-platformed” from all the major networks. This would adequately censure such nonsense, right?
Foley gave me a midnight deadline for this column. I have not stayed up until midnight for at least a decade, so I’m not sure if he texted the right person. If you ever get an email from me at midnight, delete it from all your devices immediately, it’s a cyber security threat.
I had no idea how old I had gotten regarding television technology. I had been on DirectTV for about a decade, and I switched to YouTube TV this weekend and it has been glorious. I’ve been showing the wife all kinds of television viewing tricks I can do now and I’m quite sure she’s impressed. Probably just the spark we needed in our 34-year-marriage.
For the record, I had to Google how many years ago 1988 was. Life comes at you fast.
I still have a major man crush on Patrick Mahomes and Andy Reid. I’d like them to be in my life for many more years.
I enjoyed the trip down memory lane last week where Foley recounted the Meat Loaf at Woody’s history. I remember Woody’s well. I hated it. Always hated large crowds. It was convenient though; I’d drop my friends at Woody’s and then go around the corner to Pete’s Inn and it was a glorious bar. It was in the area behind Woody’s where the HyVee on 64th Street is now.
I love progress, but I’m not sure having room for more ham salad was superior to a Pete’s Inn in our lives. But I don’t get a say in such matters. Enjoy your ham salad.
Sen. Tony Luetkemeyer tried to butter me up by tweeting part of a recent column I wrote about his legislative agenda for the upcoming session. It worked; I’m all buttered up! I’m on Team Luetkemeyer now, but I’m of little help to politicians. I don’t like people, so I avoid door-to-door campaigns, and I like my money to stay in my own pockets, so I don’t give to politicians. He will have to be satisfied to know I’m with him in conservative agenda spirit; that should comfort him going forward
I’m no Punxsutawney Phil, but If I was a better betting man, I suspect my next column will be about Missouri winters and the way I hate them more every single year I get older. Why do we do this? You probably had to send your St. Bernard to retrieve this paper and yet here you are, old and tired in the grayest days of winter and reading this sad column that will bring you no cheer.
I can’t help you anymore than tell you that I wish we were both smarter than this. I wish we both had come to our senses years ago and moved to warmer client each winter. I’m not sure there is hope for either of us. I share your sadness in yourself.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at email@example.com or reading Senator Luetkemeyer press releases and playing with his TV)