I read my column from last week and it depressed me. Hopefully, you missed it. I was on a serious “grumpy gills” spiral that has no place in your home/bathroom. I’ll do better. . .maybe.
Donald Trump at the World Series doing the tomahawk chop made my weekend. I just laughed at all of the liberals that would be freaking out about this “insensitive” gesture. If the tomahawk chop gets you down in the dumps, you might want to reconsider your disposition as well. I kind of love Donald in a weird way. He’s the awkward rich kid that is always trying to fit in and doesn’t. But he’s rich and has a boat and stuff, so you hang out with him.
Prosecutor Zahnd has not destroyed any gambling machines lately, but when he and the sheriff decide to burn up all the pot from the evidence rooms, I suspect he might get a larger crowd. Remember when the Highway Patrol used to cut down a bunch of ditch weed and then claim they destroyed millions of dollars of “product?’ Those were the days.
I don’t want to stir up our “cancel culture” friends, but if you have not watched the Dave Chappelle special on Netflix, you are missing out. Chappelle is one of the few deep-thinking, thought-provoking comedians left in this world and this latest special is complete “fire.” The fact that people think it is “too controversial” is laughable to me. When did this become a thing? I’m a middle-aged white man in the Midwest and Chappelle provides compelling content through comedy; despite my political and world views differing from him on most issues. Why can’t that still be a thing?
Also, check out Theo Von special on Netflix. Dude is just funny.
I have not done the Tomahawk Chop for a few years because I have not attended a Chiefs game for a minute or too, but if Patrick Mahomes would quit throwing interceptions and fumbling the ball, I’d be willing to break it out again. Heck, I’d ride Warpaint around the Platte City square with an Indian headdress on if it would help. I’d write this column on a Big Chief tablet if that might stop this trend. Anyway, I’m going to work on my “chop,” just so I can be ready if Trump makes this a staple of his 2024 campaign.
Does anyone know the “horse pooping in the street” laws around here? I was just kind of thinking about Warpaint and running him through the square and while I’m probably not particularly good at riding horses, I am worse at cleaning up horse crap. Can someone reach out to the city administrator and see what the protocol is for this? Can we ask the people in the jail to clean this up? Does Foley sometimes get to work early and clean up the square? These are the things that bother me at night.
Speaking of Netflix, don’t share this, but we have three households on one account. Strike that, we have three households on MY account. Apparently, it is a responsibility of parenting that you provide your adult children with Netflix. I’m not sure when this became law. So, my 30-something son and 25-year- old or so daughter both use my account and I’m not sure how to get them off of it. Just change the password you say, but these are the people that will be admitting me to a home someday and I feel like it might be sooner than later if I do it that way.
I’m using this column and Foley’s ink to “urge” them off the account. If that doesn’t work, we will escalate.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at gspeckman@me.com or moving into a retirement home of his children’s choice)