Last defense, buttload and fairy god ‘mother’

I was determined to quit writing about COVID, but it is driving me crazy. Specifically, schools are driving me crazy. My information in anecdotal, but I suppose it is universal. It appears to me that we have now put schools, or our lack of cohesiveness, have placed schools in charge of monitoring and controlling COVID. This is INSANE.

Some schools are masking, some are social distancing, some are not doing one single thing. We have schools that are quarantining buttloads of kids and we have schools that just send sick kids home, like we did before pandemics. We have school nurses, health departments and school principals doing complex flow charts and Excel spreadsheets detailing the quarantined, the positive tested, and the tested but not positive, and anything else COVID related. These are the same people that then cancel ballgames, testing and entire school days.

Let me repeat, this is INSANE.

First, I’ll defend schools. The national, state and local government direction has been weak at best. The political fighting among both sides of the aisle has left them in a “do it yourself” position. Teachers deserve the opportunity to teach.

Secondly, I’ll criticize the policy makers that have allowed schools to morph into these social service agencies. Let me type this slowly. Schools are for educating children. Teachers are trained to educate children. Get them out of the health business, they are already marginally proficient at educating, I’m not trusting them with the pandemic management. As organizations reflective of society, schools are often like water, seeking the path of least resistance. Many have latched on to COVID as a mission that can’t be academically tested or judged. It’s like the food programs that schools have indulged themselves in. Schools, based on federal policy, have fully embraced the “we’re a kid’s only meal of the day sometimes” mantra that has become prevalent in justifying the time and resources to feeding kids. Many schools are now treating their days like they’re the last defense against COVID.

I’d prefer they treat their days like they’re the last defense against future generations that can’t read, write or problem solve.

Listen, I don’t want kids to go hungry and I don’t want kids to have COVID, but I do want people that are paid and trained in educating children to be given the opportunity to do just that. I want other people to take care of their health care and feed them; mostly their parents, but that is another column.


Has anyone ever properly defined or summarized the true amount a “buttload” is? My Google machine tells me that “buttload” was once a British term for a “heavy cart” capable of carrying 48 bushels. Impress your friends with that next time you go out drinking or get in a Facebook argument.


Amazon Prime is coming out with a new Cinderella. The “Fairy Godmother” character in this remake is “genderless.” Try to keep up here, but don’t get confused, the genderless character is played by an openly gay, black man. All of which are apparently important facts to push in the national publications I read regarding this. If you’re keeping track at home, it’s important that our kids see genderless characters and it is also important to know the sexual preference of the dude playing the genderless character. I’m pretty sure we could have watched this movie on repeat for a decade and not needed to know any of this; yet here we are, all “woke.”

“Experts” in this indicate that approximately 1.2 million Americans are “non gender,” despite science that might say different. Thankfully, those people will be represented going forward. Rush out and get it downloaded.

(Guy Speckman can be reached at gspeckman@me.com or reading school generated COVID stats)

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