Can we all agree that Easter has nothing to do with a bunny? That has been bothering me for a while now and I’m glad to get it off my mind. Can we also acknowledge that bunnies do not lay eggs? Can we also agree that 90% of Facebook users post “Easter” photos despite not having practiced any sort of Christianity in the prior 364 days?
Carry on.
I’m not good at religious gatherings, so I try to lay low on Easter. I’m still a little skeptical of a few of the chapters in the Bible, so I’m probably not your go-to source for Easter background knowledge.
An old friend reached out to me a couple of weeks ago. He had stumbled onto the best weekly newspaper in the state and then onto this column. He lives in Platte County and he’s one of those dudes that bikes the backroads of Platte County for entertainment. Yeah, on a bicycle that requires you to pedal. I guess that seems healthy except for the texting drivers that share the road with him. He mentioned he sometimes hits up a “whiskey club” over in Weston or the winery down in the river bottoms on Highway 45. As far as riding a bicycle along Highway 45, I don’t ever intend to be on that highway without a combustible engine powering me. As far as a “whiskey club,” I’ve been clubbed by enough whiskey to know better to join a club that has “whiskey” in the name.
I suppose it is possible that I may drive that highway with a battery powered engine at some point in my life, so I probably should retract that statement. If Elon Musk and Joe Biden get their way, I won’t be able to get my hands on a gas engine in a few years, so I would like to amend the above declaration to include battery powered engines.
Why are Major League Baseball and Coca Cola and other corporations trying to run state government? Honestly, these corporate stances on state laws befuddle me. Would somebody send them a memo that we have these things called elections and we send these people called representatives to state capitols all over the country each year? These people then vote on our behalf. It’s kind of how government works here in the USA. Anyway, if the commissioner of baseball wants to run state government, he should put his name on the ballot. Otherwise, just show up and play baseball cause government, while messy, has been running for nearly 250 years without one single interruption. Baseball can’t say the same.
That is not a “shut up and dribble” comment. That is a “get in your lane” comment. This country has veered completely out of our lanes. We got mayors and governors making health decisions, we have career health officials making law and we have corporations trying to dictate state law and policy. Could everyone please return to their appropriate lane of traffic before we have a serious accident?
This keeps up and we’re going to have an Insurrection or Pandemic or something really bad like that.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at gspeckman@me.com <mailto:gspeckman@me.com> or driving in his own lane)