appy Thanksgiving, everyone. We know it’s going to be a while before we get “back to normal.” But I’m wondering what will be forever changed when normal actually makes it back here.
For starters, I’m cautiously optimistic about food and grocery delivery. Mind you, I haven’t had one experience over the past nine months that I would say knocked my socks off – lots of substituting three oranges when I ordered orange juice and forgetting straws. That kind of thing. But I believe the delivery service is back in business. This is how restaurants and stores should be leaning if they aren’t already. Grab those 16 year olds and have them start shuttling merchandise!
I hate to break it to businesses like Cerner and Garmin in town, but I don’t think people are going to want to ever return to the offices like it used to be. Let’s say that Covid is totally eradicated in twelve months – that will be almost two years of working from home for some people and that is just fine by me. I’m a professional conference call member at this point. I know how to unmute myself. I have an appropriately professional but fun background for my camera. And that camera angle allows me to rarely wear pants. How on earth am I ever going to go back to the way it was again? Plus, my dog simply will not allow me to be gone for more than 30 minutes anymore. We’re talking serious doggie depression if the house is empty all day.
I think this will also have rippling effects for nearly everything. A two-car family could consider going to one car. A person living near work can literally live anywhere in the country and still do their job. It would open up all kinds of lanes for businesses to move away from high-rent coastlines and move to, let’s say, a super friendly environment such as Kansas and Missouri.
I think entertainment will forever change, as well. We’ve gotten far too used to just dialing up a movie or a series on our televisions. Televisions that rival the size of some movie theaters, as well. Unless someone can explain to me why spending $15 on a ticket, then $30 on a drink and popcorn all the while leaving the comfort of your favorite chair is enticing, I’m subscribing to everything I can get my hands on and planning to make butt-sized dents deeper in my couch.
Which, now that you mention it, now might not be the time you want to invest in a gym. Oh, sure, people will still be motivated for fitness, but it’s likely to be within their four walls instead of dragging themselves out for a five am spin class across town. With Peloton and The Mirror and a host of other services, you’ve got all the experience you need to shed the pounds you gain while watching movies.
When life goes back to normal, there will be a wealth of reasons to keep it abnormal. This, obviously, will be at the expense of human contact and interaction. No movies means no bumping into people you work with in line. Heck, you might not even recognize them anyway if you’re still working from home. The best you can hope for is recognizing the person delivering your Price Chopper order. But at least you won’t be late for yoga class. What is normal, anyway?
(Get normal with Chris Kamler on Twitter, where he’s @TheFakeNed)