Anger management and Mike’s Hard Lemonade

Mike's Hard Lemonade

I‘m just gonna start this column by saying Charlie Puth has an amazing voice. His contribution to the current hit “I Hope” by Gabby Barrett is nothing short of phenomenal.


Charlie Puth’s voice is outstanding but his name still sounds dirty. That’s not his fault.


Landmark Live returns Thursday night at 6. Chris Kamler and I decided there’s too much nutty stuff going on in the news and the world needs to hear our observations. We apologize in advance.

We did three or four Zoom-type Landmark Lives March thru May but this will be the first in-person show since January. Your hosts will be staying six feet apart. We typically don’t like to breathe on one another anyway.


Parkville Mayor Nan Johnston told the arresting officer she had one Mike’s Hard Lemonade at 5 p.m. and half of another Mike’s Hard Lemonade shortly before driving around 1 a.m. She blew .110 after being stopped.

Break off into discussion groups.


Holy staying power. I’ve never consumed a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and now I’m afraid to try one. I don’t know who Mike is but apparently he’s brewing some powerful hooch. Don’t light a match around that stuff.


If you had Mike’s Hard Lemonade in a “guess the mayor’s drink of choice” you just won a million bucks in Parkville tax incentives.


Pretty sure that’s how economic development works, right? Am I doing this right? Or am I getting this confused with CARES grants? Please advise.


If you have a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and get a buzz lasting longer than eight hours contact your doctor.


Roxsen Koch, who gave an impassioned plea on Nan’s behalf at Tuesday night’s meeting of the Parkville Board of Aldermen, is Nan’s campaign committee treasurer, by the way, if you’re wondering about connections that aren’t obvious to the naked eye.

Peggy Parolin, who gave an impassioned plea on Nan’s behalf in a Facebook post reported in The Landmark last week, was Nan’s campaign treasurer in 2016, if you’re wondering about other connections that aren’t obvious to the naked eye.


You’ll see in a front page story that two evenings after her DWI arrest, Nan Johnston in an official communication from the mayor’s office was writing these words to a Parkville resident: “I don’t really give a shit what you think.”

On the bright side, at least there were no F bombs from the mayor this time. Baby steps.


Anger Management was a good movie. Joe Parente should do the city a favor and have it playing on a loop in the mayor’s office.


I’m no life coach but let’s brainstorm this problem. Pull the plug on her modem. Hide her cell phone. Redirect her desk phone lines so that every outgoing call goes directly to the city attorney. Issue a moratorium on Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Somebody’s gotta try something. Friends don’t let friends self-destruct. What Nan needs more than friends going to meetings to talk about how great she is and the hard work she puts in for the city and accusing anyone who might disagree of having “a personal vendetta” is a true friend who will help her give attention to whatever it is that might be bothering her.


According to the police report, when the mayor was told by the sheriff’s deputy to get out of her car, her immediate reaction was not to get out of the vehicle but instead to grab her phone and announce she was calling Kevin Chrisman.

Kevin Chrisman is the Parkville police chief.

Break off into discussion groups.


Chrisman is a good police chief and a good dude. Probably wishes he hadn’t answered the phone at 1:15 a.m. but I guess he was being a good soldier.


One of my favorite Kevin Chrisman memories came shortly after Mayor Nan had one of her patented meltdowns and ordered all complimentary copies of The Landmark permanently removed from Parkville City Hall. Several days later the police chief called our office wondering why he was no longer getting the paper, saying he missed reading it. Guess he hadn’t gotten the memo.

(Ivan Foley can be found avoiding Mike’s Hard Lemonade and letting late night phone calls go to voice mail. Email ivan@plattecountylandmark.com)

Exit mobile version