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That was fun

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
January 29, 2020
in The Rambling Moron
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If you blinked, you probably missed it. More likely, however, you probably just stayed in bed. If you’re unfamiliar, I’m speaking of diet season. That slice of the year between January 2nd and Super Bowl Sunday where we all pretend to do a few more sit-ups, take an extra 20 minute walk, or at least visit the gym just to knock the cobwebs off of your membership card.

Yep. That’s over. Super Bowl Sunday has arrived and I have spent the entire week planning how I’m going to break any semblance of a diet from breakfast to when Patrick Mahomes hoists the Lombardi trophy.

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It is the second greatest national eating holiday behind Thanksgiving–and, there’s an argument to be made that it’s the greatest. That low-carb diet? How about cracker toppers shaped like footballs? Cutting back on red meat? How about brisket sliders topped with french fried onion ring slivers? Dialing back on the alcohol? Call for that Uber because the “Patrick Mahomes” drink is filled with bitters, schnapps, and grenadine and will throw you for 300 yards.

While Earth has its seasons based upon the weather, humanity has its own seasons surrounded by food. It is a shame that cutting back only gets about three and a half weeks, but that’s the life we life. New Year’s Day, Super Bowl Sunday, Easter, Summer picnics, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Name one of those events that’s not associated with food? Nope. You can’t.

There always seems to be something food related just over the horizon. After the Super Bowl, you start planning your opening day tailgate – so keep those cracker recipes and cocktail mixers handy. It’s a great opportunity to bump up your grocery budget just a bit.

I’m still finalizing it, but because of our team’s participation in the Super Bowl this year I think this calls to really overdo it on the food. Normally we always have wings and cocktails. But I think this year, just to combat the level of stress, we’re going to need a full day of morsel-sized food. A big breakfast just to coat the area, then you start with the chips and dips building up to smoked brisket, wings, and pulled pork.

It is what a Super Bowl that might not come again for 50 more years demands. Plus, you’ll likely have people over and what kind of host would you be if they didn’t go home stuffed to the gourds basking in their post-Super Bowl win? You’d be a terrible host. That’s what.

Layer on the bean dip. Mix up a batch of artichoke dippers. Go nuts. You’ve earned it, Kansas City. Not with your fitness, mind you, but just by waiting for the Chiefs to make it to the big game.

Maybe I’ll do a few extra sit-ups the night before. After all, I won’t get another chance until after next Christmas.

Go Chiefs.

(Get morsel sized nuggets from Chris Kamler on Twitter where he is known as @TheFakeNed. You can also search him on Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube and watch him on Landmark Live on Facebook)

Tags: chris kamlerlandmark live
Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a cybersecurity architect by day, and pain in the ass by night.

He is a twice-published author, and has over 500 columns with The Landmark under his belt. Chris is a lifelong Northlander with a son and dog.

You can reach him on most of the social networks as Chris Kamler or TheFakeNed.

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