• About Us
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Pickem Terms and Conditions
Saturday, April 1, 2023
The Platte County Landmark Newspaper
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem!
    • Weekly Pickem Updates
    • Results by Week
    • The Leaderboard
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem!
    • Weekly Pickem Updates
    • Results by Week
    • The Leaderboard
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish
No Result
View All Result
The Platte County Landmark Newspaper
No Result
View All Result

The cyber middle

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
January 1, 2020
in The Rambling Moron
3
SHARES
87
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on TwitterShare via Email

The cyber lifestyle has brought us ways to do nearly everything faster. I just ordered an entire refrigerator of groceries in about 20 minutes, then had them delivered to my house. I can record five shows at the same time. It’s so easy to search for directions. Remember when you had to stop at a gas station only for the teenager behind the counter to get you totally lost?

The World Wide Web has brought us advancements far beyond human imagination. It has also brought a world – often a world with very different sensibilities and backgrounds – closer together. The melting pot of ideas is kind of in that stage right now where you just made that recipe for buffalo dip, but it still has a couple hours to heat up. It’s still clumpy in the middle and not all the way mixed together.

RelatedNews

A-Holes

Gender neutral crapper

Rambling Moron GPT

To desperately break out of the melted cheese metaphor, the Interweb has brought together communities that weren’t really ready to mix together.

Republicans and Democrats. Gay and straight. White and black. Star Wars fans versus people who have made poor decisions in their life and like to be wrong.

And they’ve given them all a voice. Everyone’s voice is equal on the Internet. Everyone gets a vote. Even your stupid co-worker’s kid who has impregnated seven people in his town and likes to shoot the tires out of parked cars. Yeah. That guy gets to tell you why Knives Out “sucked” on Twitter.

In the old days, marketing classes said that it takes seven good things to overcome one negative review. The ratios are way more out of whack now. We can simply post whatever happens to emit from our assholes and appear “informed” or “in the know” about that restaurant across the street that had a dirty spoon. Or are applauded for our bravery when we gave the guy on the street corner a dollar which also happened to be in a 200 word post on your Facebook.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we need a ratio system on the Internet. It needs to be closer to one to one instead of say, 50 to one. If you want to crap all over The Avengers movie because there was some plot hole in the third hour that didn’t completely line up with the comic books, you should be required to do community service hours, or read to blind kids, or something. You need to put a fraction of good into the world – like we used to do.

We used to give a bum a dollar because we had a dollar to spare, not to take an Instagram selfie. We used to tell people about bad (and good) experiences at a local business to a neighbor because we genuinely wanted people to go to or not go to their business – not so your Google Guide rating can go to Level Jenga or whatever.

Now, someone will reply to this passage and say something negative like “you can’t call people bums anymore.” Which, hey, great. Thanks for listening. But I guess you miss the point. And when everything – every word – every phrase – is parsed in this polarizing world – you can’t help but not be perfect all the time. This isn’t to say you can just say anything. I didn’t say the bum was a bum in a racially insensitive or a lifestyle insensitive sort of way… I just said the bum was a bum because… smell, mainly.

In a binary world where you’re either a winner or a loser, I feel like I’m living in the middle. Maybe I’m the only one left. I can both be disappointed by a plot hole in a made up science fiction movie and still love the movie 3,000.

The Internet has brought us everything. Too much, in fact. It has brought us groceries and all the free porn you can put your palms on. But it has also brought us closer to the worst of us.. Like columnists… or worse, podcasters…

Anyway… be sure to like and subscribe!!

(Get in the cyber middle with Chris Kamler on Twitter, where he is known as @TheFakeNed, or find him on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and YouTube)

Tags: chris kamler
Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a 20 year veteran of Information Technology and a nearly 50 year veteran of being a pain in the rear.

He is known for his irreverence through his social media Twitter account @TheFakeNed along with his weekly Landmark columns, sports broadcasts, podcasts, and his book.

Kamler has a wife and a child and is a lifelong Northlander. His list of loves include his family and QuikTrip roller food.

Related Posts

A divided America

A-Holes

by Chris Kamler
March 24, 2023
0

There's an old SNL skit with Jason Sudeikis and Kristin Wiig called “Two A-Holes” and it was a recurring bit on the show. Sudeikis's character would just walk into a place chomping gum loudly calling everybody “babe.” “Hey babe. Yeah...

Gender neutral crapper

Gender neutral crapper

by Chris Kamler
March 10, 2023
0

This column is about poop. I imagine that, at some level, you could say this about the previous 517 columns I've written for this fine newspaper, but this one is overtly about crap. Dookie. The Deuce. It is said that...

disruptors

Rambling Moron GPT

by Chris Kamler
March 3, 2023
0

Unfortunately, I have some sad news to share with you. This column will be ending soon. I mean… not like next week or anything, but soon. Just as soon as the robots can take over. Unless you've been living under...

Red balloons

Red balloons

by Chris Kamler
February 24, 2023
0

What's the difference between the U.S. Space Force and the Philadelphia Eagles defensive secondary? (Answer at the end of the column.) It's been a big week for balloons. With the Super Bowl just finishing last weekend, many of those wilted...

Next Post

The bold energy and enthusiasm of Greg Hall

Popular News

  • Anejo Modern Mexican

    Mexican restaurant set at Bar Louie’s old spot

    110 shares
    Share 44 Tweet 28
  • Audit: Wood’s accusation of health department unfounded

    15 shares
    Share 6 Tweet 4
  • Two killed while car traveling in reverse

    26 shares
    Share 10 Tweet 7
  • Health board campaign drawing attention

    17 shares
    Share 7 Tweet 4
  • USPS to audit mail delivery in the Northland

    7 shares
    Share 3 Tweet 2
  • About Us
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy Policy
  • Pickem Terms and Conditions
Call us at 816-858-0363

Copyright © 2019-2020 The Platte County Landmark Newspaper - All Rights Reserved

No Result
View All Result
  • Subscribe Online
  • Home
  • Local News
  • Opinion
  • Landmark Pickem
    • Login / Sign-up
    • Results by Week
    • The Leaderboard
    • Pickem Rules and Help
  • Landmark Live!
  • Looking Backward
  • es_MXSpanish

Copyright © 2019-2020 The Platte County Landmark Newspaper - All Rights Reserved