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Clean gray matter, sausage handles

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mayo 15, 2026
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Gotta clean the gray matter. These things have been bothering me lately.

·KMBC 9 did a piece on the evening news this week on how to reduce “screen time.” These are the same people that have spent the last 10 years telling you that you need their app for “breaking” news. Humans are very odd creatures. We find something to become addicted to and then spend the rest of our time trying to become unaddicted.

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·I think there is extraordinarily little need for any “real time” news. I’m sure it’s for your safety or other what not.

·Cruises continue to seem like a very “sketch” type idea for fun. Not sure it makes sense when you step away from the marketing. Gonna throw a bunch of wildly unfamiliar cultures of people onto a moving boat and overfeed them, encourage them to drink too much and think it will all be rosy. Seems contrary to common sense.

·I’ve never had Hantavirus, but it seems bad. Apparently, it comes from rat poop and not from a Chinese lab. That’s a positive, I suppose.

·My son and daughter in-law treated the wife and I to a Mother’s Day brunch at Prima Facie in Parkville. It was genuinely nice, but I spent most of my life at Ryan’s or Golden Corral on Mother’s Day, so the bar was not real high to impress me. I would have been more comfortable at Golden Corral. While standing in the buffet line, I embarrassedly dropped a sausage on the beautiful tiled floors of this fancy place. I’d have kicked that tubular sausage under the buffet table at Golden Corral and moved on to the potatoes, but I had to stoop down and pick this one up and return it to the staff. “Here’s your sausage,” I meekly muttered, as I handed it over.

·Flat sausages are easier to handle than those tubular versions. In my opinion.

·I’ll be 60 years old this summer. If I live, I suspect I’ll drop a few more sausages before my time is done. Stand next to me at a buffet at your own peril.

·University of Missouri running back Ahmad Hardy got shot in the leg this weekend and is recovering following surgery. If you’re a Mizzou fan, this did not surprise you. Not because of Hardy, but because there is a certain luck that follows the program that would make Schleprock wince.

·Does anyone else find it ironic that the United States, with all of our military and financial might, can’t control a tiny single waterway in the Middle East but somehow there is a group of people that think we can control the climate change for the entire world? Seems a bit of a stretch, but I’m not a science expert.

Thank you for your attention to these matters.

(Guy Speckman cannot be reached. He has cleaned out his gray matter to begin a summer of sausage dropping and carefree thought)

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