I’ve written in the past in this space about signs and messages on products and how they probably have some pretty entertaining stories to tell. This all goes back to the “This Coffee is Very Hot” warning message on McDonalds coffee cups and how it stemmed from a lawsuit where, as you might expect, a person was badly burned because they did not realize coffee would be served piping hot. Why you would bathe yourself with freshly served coffee remains beyond my comprehension.
Warning labels were made law in 1938 when Congress began requiring ingredients be put on food. Before then, I suppose, you couldn’t just buy cereal without knowing it contains red dye, gelatin, or brominated vegetable oil.
Jump to today and that law has evolved into carefully, legally vetted language warning others to not do stupid stuff with their products. Sleeping pills with “may cause drowsiness” on it. A jet ski with a warning of “never hold an open flame to check fuel level.” There must be a helluva story around that one. The hair dryer that reads “do not use while sleeping” in case you were hoping to dry your hair during a big fat nap.
I humbly submit to you that there is about to be a new warning label to be added to a big electronic product. This one is courtesy of the gameday operations team at Michigan State. Before last week’s loss to Michigan, (a score of 47-0-oof) the video board was showing a series of fun little quizzes. These are simply to give those not actively staring at their phone an opportunity to stare at another screen. This one stands 47 feet high.
Unfortunately, the news after the game wasn’t the drubbing the Spartans got from the Wolverines. It was, instead, an image of Hitler that appeared on the scoreboard before the game. Hitler, you say? Yes. Hitler.
Is one of the players unfortunately named Johnny Hitler? Nope. We’re talking about THE Hitler. He was the answer to a quiz question before the game. A question that resulted in the suspension of a scoreboard operator who didn’t think that anyone in the 74,000 fans in attendance might take some umbridge or offense to a 47-foot high photo of Hitler. Even IF the question was “Who is the worst human of all time?” (That wasn’t the question, however.)
So you buy your ticket to see your Spartans. You are already in a bad mood because Michigan is ranked 2nd in the country and your in-state rival is about to completely destroy your defense. But you get your hot dog and your Dr. Pepper and you find your seat in the stands. You look up and wait….was that a picture of Hitler on the scoreboard? Did he score a touchdown or something?
Let’s stop for a moment and think. What would the coffee person do? Would the coffee person pour hot coffee on their face? No. No, that is not what the coffee person should do. So let’s learn from the coffee person and apply the same logic to the scoreboard person. Should the scoreboard person show an image of Hitler days after an anti-semetic terrorist attack on Israel? The answer, unequivocally, is no. No, the scoreboard operator should not show a 50-foot image of Hitler at any time, most certainly days after an attack.
So, humble reader, I submit to you a new warning label on the console of all scoreboards to go up around the country. It should read: DO NOT SHOW IMAGE OF HITLER
Enjoy your coffee.
(Get warning signs from Chris Kamler on X, where he is known as @TheFakeNed)