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Rapid fire

Chris Kamler by Chris Kamler
January 27, 2023
in The Rambling Moron
Rapid fire
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Apparently, I’ve been working too hard because all I’ve done in two days of vacation have slept. Also, mediocrity is rewarded. My proof? Carl Cheffers has been named the head referee for the Super Bowl. I guess if you throw the most flags, you’re the pick of the litter.

As I mentioned, I’m in cold and gray Phoenix for a few days for some R&R. I just didn’t realize it would be raining and I’d be retreating to find a heater. So here’s a few random thoughts as I get ready for 2023:

RelatedNews

To the class of 2025

Please and thank you

Eggs

I don’t know how many candles you have burning for Patrick Mahomes’ ankle, but when I get back on Friday I’m going to have the fire marshal come down hard on my place. I think even with two good legs beating Joe Cool will be a challenge, but it’s also next to impossible to have a long winning streak against a team in the NFL… Unless it’s the Chiefs over the Broncos. Or the Chiefs over the Raiders. Or the Chiefs over the Chargers.

There is some good news for Chiefs fans, however. Phoenix is the site of the Super Bowl in a couple of weeks, and many stores have already set out their Super Bowl collections. I would like you to know that I’ve restrained from buying ANYTHING Super Bowl related in hopes of avoiding a jinx. You’re welcome, Kansas City.

While we’re talking football, if you didn’t participate in Landmark Pick’em this year, you really missed out. Our Tech Guy Schneider put his heart and soul into it this season, including weekly write-ups and lots of fun. There were only mild accusations of impropriety and that’s simply because we can’t trust editor Ivan Foley with anything nice. Thanks, Schneider. Great work.

This vacation also marks likely the final time I will fly out of and into KCI. Maybe it’s like that blanket that your grandma knitted you 25 years ago. You love that blanket. You cared for that blanket. But there are just too many moth holes and missing parts to keep it any longer. It will be sad to say goodbye to curbside pickups and rapid security passages, but waiting in line for one urinal and vacant storefronts are things I won’t miss. Here’s hoping KCI 2.0 will last longer than that blanket.

Finally, while I’m in the Valley of the Sun, I can’t help but think about spring and spring training. If you haven’t been paying attention to the Royals, well, you haven’t missed much with one notable exception. The Royals signed Aroldis Chapman – he of the 102 MPH fastball – to the squad this week. Along with his high-powered arm comes a litany of baggage from the past several years, including a domestic violence suspension from Major League Baseball and accusations of quitting on his team, the Yankees, down the playoff stretch last year. This certainly isn’t Dayton Moore’s club any longer. I just didn’t think they’d completely turn heel into the Raiders that quickly. Chapman is, at most, a trade chip for a team that has no chance of being in a playoff hunt and will be gone by the All-Star break. At worst, he’s a clubhouse cancer that might not even break camp with the club. And all this in the shadow of the owner out begging for your tax dollars for a new stadium downtown. It’s a head scratcher to be sure.

Enjoy the snow, KC. Can’t say it’s any better here since Phoenix had a freeze warning last night, but at least there’s mountains. I’ll be flying back Friday just like a Carl Cheffers pass interference flag.

(A lot of penalty flags get thrown on Chris Kamler when he’s using Twitter as @TheFakeNed)

Tags: chris kamlertaxes
Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler

Chris Kamler is a cybersecurity architect by day, and pain in the ass by night.

He is a twice-published author, and has over 500 columns with The Landmark under his belt. Chris is a lifelong Northlander with a son and dog.

You can reach him on most of the social networks as Chris Kamler or TheFakeNed.

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