Loser Highway

Loser Highway

Just when you thought the Missouri legislature wasted the last session, I bring you this news. Rep. Josh Hurlbert, who represents Missouri House District 12, introduced a bill that renames a portion of U.S. Hwy. 169 from Main Street in Smithville to north of Gower as “Championship Way.”

Apparently, it is to memorialize last year’s state high school football championships of Smithville and East Buchanan (Gower).

Let all that sink in. I understand the enthusiasm for such accomplishments, but I’m not sure renaming highways is the best use of time and resources for state government. This also ignores the fact that a good portion of this highway is in the Plattsburg school district. Life has also taught me that most of these moments are fleeting as well.

Are they going to rename it “not so championship way” or “Loser Highway” for the years they don’t win football state championships? If Smithville football gets a highway named after the first team in school history to win a football state championship, what the heck does Platte County get for all its trophies? What about Lamar or Webb City? They’d have to rename the entire state to recognize the years and years of football championships at those schools.

I’m not hating on Gower and Smithville, these are significant accomplishments by team and community. Both teams were great this year, but that doesn’t last forever, and I can’t even wait until the debate moms or swim team moms find out about this “honor.” That will be a hoot.

The bill to rename the highway is on the governor’s desk.


Just put a sign up at the edge of the two towns and call this one good. The chambers of commerce and booster clubs will gladly pay for it.

Solved. I’m here to help, people. MoDOT is struggling to find enough help to keep the potholes patched, not sure we need to burden them with more highway signage.


It has been three decades since I was excited about a movie release. I’m actually excited about the Top Gun: Maverick release for this coming Friday. The original was not that impactful to me beyond the hot version of Kelly McGillis, but it did define a generation or so.

My two brothers-in-law basically joined the military because of that movie. They wore out a couple of VHS tapes of that bad boy. It was on repeat in their house back in 80s, except VHS did not have repeat, you had to “be kind and rewind” and press start again. The movie jump started their career plans for life. One of them is finishing a long and successful career in the military and the other is a long time Boeing employee after serving in the military.

As you might expect, I was more into the bar scenes from the movie. As any good bar hound knows, those scenes were shot at Kansas City Barbeque, a restaurant and bar located in the harbor district of San Diego. Impress your friends with that knowledge next time you’re out and they are accidentally listening to you.

Anyway, it opens Friday and it’s going to destroy some box office records. Mark my words.


Speaking of Tom Cruise, I once permed my hair after he sported a perm in The Color of Money. This was circa 1986. I’m not saying it worked, but I was married by 1988 and so I’m fairly sure that was the primary factor in my future wife making sure I was locked down. She might see it differently, but I’m only here for the truth.


In case you were wondering, I did not age near as gracefully as Tom. Seems as though that Scientology and fresh mineral water stuff works. He was concentrating on spiritual awakening and drinking purified spring water for a few decades and I was pounding Bud Lights and Big Macs and to be honest, it shows. Tom’s hair still looks good, and he and I are sporting different versions of six packs and he’s four years older than me.

Can’t have regrets. I don’t have enough hair left to get permed anyway, so what difference does it make at this point?

(Guy Speckman can be reached at gspeckman@me.com or speaking at the Smithville Warrior or East Buchanan Bulldog booster club meetings)

Exit mobile version