How cool is it that Weston, Missouri was featured in one of those Hallmark holiday movies? If you haven’t noticed, the Kansas City area is now the darling of Hollywood thanks to names like Jason Sudeikis and second sexiest man alive after Ivan Foley, Paul Rudd.
I know a lot of people make fun of those Hallmark movies, but we have plenty of fodder if Hallmark wants to come back next year and turn this place into Tinseltown.
For instance… “The Signs of Christmas.” A small town mayor wants to spread holiday cheer, so he hires his cousin to paint a bunch of Christmas signs around town. The cousin is a recovering shopaholic and known for causing mischief on Black Friday. Sure enough, the cousin buys up all the paint in town causing the Town Council to get involved. The Mayor is brought up on nepotism charges but has to give an impassioned plea to the Town Council about the spirit of Christmas in order to get out of a hefty fine and removal from office. The closing credits feature a Taylor Swift song about forgiveness.
Here’s another one… “Holiday Nanny Manny.” Based in a busy suburban town, Nancy leads a double life. By day, she is a hard-nosed politician. She is the mayor of her town and rules with an iron fist. The first act is Nancy screaming at people at City Hall to get her this or get her that. She is truly the Christmas grinch! She is also the mother of two boys. Their male nanny “Chester the Manny” as the younger child calls him, is kind and gentle and is treated poorly by Nancy. But the kids love him. On Christmas Eve, Nancy is called to work very late and Chester sits the kids down to ask them what they want for Christmas. The older child asks for a Patrick Mahomes jersey and a baseball mitt. The younger child pauses and innocently looks up at Chester and says, “I want my mommy and you to fall in love.” Chester laughs like he’s got a bowl full of jelly. But just as the wish is made, a wind storm zonks the lights. The finale to the movie has a Taylor Swift song fading in as the two find true love which melts Nancy’s heart. They go on to run for President and Vice-President – all because of a Christmas wish.
If Hollywood hasn’t called yet, here’s one more… “Christmas Petitions.” Some rapscallion teens at the local high school get together and pass around a petition to “cancel” Santa Claus. The show is a think piece about peer pressure and the power of positivity. The petition sets off a firestorm in the community where even the national news comes to town. People line up on both sides of the high school football field. One side with signs like “SLEEPY SANTA” and “LET’S GO FROSTY” and the other side with signs reading “THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS” and “SANTA IS ALWAYS WATCHING” which, admittedly, is a creepy sounding one. When all of a sudden, the little sister of one of the petitioners walks to the center of the football field and gives a heartfelt speech about what Christmas means to her, and what it could mean to everyone if you let a little bit of Santa in your heart. “Santa is all of us,” she says holding back tears. Both sides of the football stadium begin cheering and rush to embrace the little girl. Again, a Taylor Swift song plays in the background.
These movie ideas are free for the taking, all I ask is that you proudly feature myself and the sexiest man alive as extras in the background.
(Chris Kamler is the sexiest man on Twitter and you can find him there as @TheFakeNed)