his is a wrap. Year over. Good riddance, you filthy schmuck. I quit New Year’s Eve partying long ago, but I might drink a shot of grain or moonshine to make sure this year is over and dead. Maybe a shot of grain alcohol mixed with hand sanitizer would be appropriate. Anyway, good riddance 2020, may we never speak of you in glowing terms; except for Patrick Mahomes. He had a good 2020 and we appreciate that, but this does not mean you are forgiven for being a really, really crappy year.
Just to be clear, I am not a medical doctor or president of the United States. Do not drink a shot of grain alcohol mixed with hand sanitizer. It probably won’t help wash away 2020 and it could have an adverse impact on 2021. Consider yourself properly notified and warned. I don’t do negligence lawsuits.
I consider this entire column to be negligent behavior.
I’m working harder than Nan Johnston to get out of Foley’s column. I’ve had more than my fair share of exposure of late. I’m done writing about him; he will waste a drum of ink to get the last word in a spat. Consider yourself warned.
Just a friendly post-Christmas nugget of news. Approximately 6% of gift cards are never redeemed. Get out there and redeem your gifts! Additionally, did you know that Quick Cash type places actually buy gift cards from people? I didn’t either. I’m not sure what all of this means, but I think it is another bad sign about human behavior.
FYI. Royals opening day is on April 1. That is approximately 90 days away. If we can get about 100 million Pfizer and Moderna doses injected in our veins between now and then, I’ll see you guys there. Feels like a race.
Honestly, I wonder if the government has checked with Pablo Escobar on distribution methods. That dude got tons and tons of drugs delivered all over the world for decades with nary a problem, beyond some untimely deaths. Surely, he could devise a transportation and delivery network for some legal drugs. No?
I just read that he is dead. I had forgotten that fact. Scratch that idea. Anyway, might check with the drug cartels if you really want to get this stuff in the right hands. I’m an idea guy.
Super Bowl is Feb. 7. That puts parade day at approximately Feb. 10. Assuming that Mayor Lucas and Health Director Rex Archer will still be sticking to their social distancing protocols, I’d suggest that the Platte County Commissioners offer up rural Platte County for a parade, should the need arise on Feb. 7; we’ll call it a peaceful protest. How many people can you pack in Hoover or Ridgely?
Again, I’m just the idea guy, but this is a good one.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or planning rural parade routes)