efore we get started, let me be clear. If the New York Times is correct, I have paid more taxes than President Trump over the last ten years. If I must release my returns to continue this column, I will trust them to Publisher Foley for dissemination.
Let us also be clear. I’m super jealous of The Donald. Dude been living the high life and he figured out a way not to pay the government. If that doesn’t qualify him to be President, then I am at a loss for what you want. Just as we suspected, he’s half Republican and half Democrat and all Donald. On one hand he’s using his corporate entities as a tax shelter haven and on the other he was grabbing a tax refund as his own personal version of socialism. What a great country! Carry on.
Somebody wake up Joe Biden and tell him he’s been paying way too much in taxes.
It’s a rule that you can’t write a column in 2020 without bringing up COVID-19. Here’s my mandatory segment. I’m impressed by at least four Missouri school districts that decided to punt the convoluted and marginally effective quarantine procedures in effect at most schools.
Tired of wiping out entire groups of students with one positive test, schools in Diamond, East Newton, Neosho and Seneca announced last week that exposed students would no longer be required to quarantine and could return to in-person learning. The Newton County health department helped the decision along by allowing students with “exposure” inside school buildings, despite being a potential carrier of all that consumes us now.
These Joplin area schools were quarantining 25-31 students for every one positive case. The new policy is more in line with the better known “essential worker” type policy that sends people home if they start to show symptoms. I’m no COVID-19 expert, but this sure passes the common sense test. Maybe more districts and health departments will see the results and begin to make similar changes.
How many years will schools cite COVID-19 as the rationale for poor test scores in the future? I’m predicting 10. I suspect schools will create a new administrative position in the future. “Covid-19 Remediation Director.” They will oversee blaming institutional failures on the pandemic of 2020. It will require a six-figure salary and such. Probably have to cut a teacher salary or two to make it happen, but when administration bloat calls, you gotta answer the phone.
I officially attended a live sporting event on Saturday as I watched the Alabama Crimson Tide wipe out my favored Missouri Tigers. If you are still waiting to attend a sporting event until more normal times, I don’t blame you. It was exhausting. Rules upon rules, upon rules. Approximately 50% of fans completely ignore the rules and the rest of us were perplexed on how to follow them completely. You have no idea how much you have to drink if the rule to keep your mask off is if you are eating or drinking. $8 beers combined with a mask mandate prove a ball game is both financially and physically exhausting; I tried hard to boost the local economy through the bank of Bud Light and my credit card says I was reasonably successful in leaving some dollars in Columbia.
Anyway, it’s worth it just to see a COVID-era event. Do a Chiefs or Tigers or Jayhawks game before this thing is over and you’ll have a neat story to tell your grandkids someday who ask you about all the weird pictures of you with a mask on.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or hiring a tax attorney)