Governor Parson issued a “stay at home” order and I had literally no idea that this many of you lived at Menards. Please keep your aisle clean.
Meanwhile in Kansas, they’re literally fighting over attending church for the right to catch the “rona.” Their governor won a court battle to keep religious institutions from holding services this Easter weekend, yet some of the churches defied the order. This included a church in Basehor, just across the river.
I’m not sure how much stimulus money is going to be available as part of this pandemic, but if the funds are available it seems like a good time to build that wall to keep the Jayhawkers out of Platte County. I’m not sure of the logistics of building a wall next to a river, or in the middle of a river, but surely we have some engineers that can figure it out. Build that wall.
Just for the record. I have never risked life or limb to attend church. I’m more of a home parishioner. Me and Joel Osteen have an agreement and I don’t have to wear pants, which is my favorite part.
The local pastor who held church service in Kansas reportedly claimed all of the parishioners were part of the “choir,” a purported loophole in the Kansas governor’s order. I’ve heard some of you church people sing, and now it is obvious that the church choir had no “cuts,” and they should have. Just another example of a “give them all a ribbon” failure of society.
Anyway, I’m not in favor of giving them a ribbon, but a sign might be appropriate. Here’s your sign.
Not sure how long we have been in this state of confusion, but I am preparing to give myself the second “quarantine haircut.” My hairline has been setting a steady pace of retreat towards the top of my head for a decade or so, so it’s not a complicated event, but it does make me appreciate a good barber.
My “shop” does not meet the Missouri Department of Health standards. I literally stand on my back patio, plug in some dull shears and run them over my head with the storm door as my only reflection guide. My dogs then mull around the event, getting covered in hair clippings. I then blow the greying remnants away with the leaf blower.
My wife says it looks fine. She’s lying.
How bout those Royals? Undefeated and it’s already April. Not one single of you so-called fans would have predicted this at the end of last year. Somebody build Mike Matheny a statue, he’s done so much with so little pitching.
Speaking of Department of Health, local health departments are going to have a pretty intense pivot “post pandemic”. It seems very likely that local health departments are going to be included in some of the containment efforts that are made once economies are opened back up. That’s going to be quite a change of responsibility from holding “breast feeding classes,” “preventing” STD’s and issuing septic tank permits.
Based on my understanding, basically someone is going to have to enforce quarantines and containment among contacts of infected persons, when identified, as we move forward. That’s not going to be easy; or cheap.
Guy Speckman can be contracted for quarantine haircuts by special appointment only (not state approved)