Turns out I was wrong about the lack of Flock cameras in Platte County. There are more than my online source showed. Probably not the first or last fake news you read in this column, trust the process. Anyway, they’re everywhere and someday, you or your grandkids will regret the amount of government intrusion that we allowed into our lives in the name of safety. Until then, I’ll move on to more erroneous information.
My mower is serviced, blades sharpened and full of gasoline. Actively monitoring the grass growth to get out there for the first mow of the season. It will be glorious. Around July, I’ll begin to wonder when all this ends and by August, I’ll consider hiring someone to mow for me. Life is a vicious cycle of joy and disappointment.
Made a big mowing decision this year. Going to quit trying to pour gasoline from the “green initiative” safety cans. Don’t mean to brag but I bought one of those battery-operated pumps that will allow a no pour fill of my mower this year. Not going to lie, pretty excited to see it in action. Forty-plus years of spilling gasoline into my shoes may be over.
Does anyone else ever see the irony of the parents that feature “baby on board” placard on their car, yet they drive down the interstate staring at their phone? Seems like contradictory choices, but maybe I’m just cynical, or don’t understand baby safety.
Speaking of baby safety, my job requires me to go into houses on a nearly daily basis, and I have given up on the modern baby gates. They’ve become terribly complicated since I had to deal with baby gates in our home. We sometimes just used a snow saucer or case of beer to block some stairs from our toddler babies in the 80’s and 90’s. The current gates could protect the gold in Fort Knox from most of us. Anyway, I guess babies are more safe and stuff, I’ll trust the science.
I am not going to lie; my political affiliations have moved. I’m living in my 60th year on this planet and I was raised in a Democrat household, moved to being a Reagan Republican as a young man and transitioned (pun intended) to a libertarian type thought process as I matured. I think I am now just a member of the selfish party. Don’t really care much for either party that actively cheers against the success of the other. I’m kind of on the “Me” party train at this point, which requires me to have some critical thinking skills of my own but seems worth the trouble. Not sure if there will be a “Me” party candidate on the next presidential ballot, but I’ll let you know; assuming democracy does not die between now and then.
If democracy does die in the near future, I’m kind of curious who the speaker at the funeral will be. Seems like a tough gig to officiate, but I’m sure there will be some candidates.
The grass has grown one-eighth of an inch since I started this column. Gotta get out there and monitor this, my neighborhood street cred is at stake. Talk to you next week.
(Guy Speckman can be reached watching grass grow)
