El mejor ataque es una buena defensa

conspiracy theories

So here we are – the column I didn’t want to write. But that Rambling Moron guy forced my hand.

I’d like to thank Chris Kamler for mentioning me with such depth. I thought I had already covered “conspiracies” in a previous column of my mine, but apparently I wasn’t clear enough. (Who am I kidding? Kamler doesn’t read my stuff.)

First of all, I’m not sure how I keep getting classified as a “right-winger.” I’m no more or less right than Foley and Speck. And we’re all definitely more right than Kamler, who invented the left. But I’m pretty sure he’s only a lib because he wants to sell his soul to the illuminati so he can finally, once and for all, become famous.

So anyway, as I read the first two paragraphs of Jan. 20th’s The Rambling Moron, it became apparent to me that I can’t even trust my own coworkers in the media to present the truth accurately. About 71% of those two paragraphs were a misleading exaggeration.

Now don’t misunderstand me. I am confident there are shenanigans going on in the NFL. Do I know for sure exactly what’s happening? Nope. I’m not going to sit here and pretend to have all the answers like some people on Twitter and YouTube do. But I will tell you this – I reached my conclusion based on actual research. (Like, actual reading-type research.) The information I’ve used to deduce that the NFL is not being honest with the fans – it’s out there for you to find, too…if you want.

And herein lies the problem. Most NFL flag-fliers (Mr. Kamler) don’t really want to know the truth. In fact, I’ve had several big NFL fans openly admit to me:

“I couldn’t watch any sport if I knew it was rigged/fixed.”

“I don’t think I want to know what you’ve learned, Brad. It would ruin football for me.”

The NFL is truly a religion for most fans. They take it very, very seriously. They yell at the TV screen. They stay in bad moods for hours. They beat their dogs. And when their team wins, they celebrate like they’re on the roster. Likewise, when someone threatens to tear down their religion by suggesting things might not be what they’ve been told – they defend their holy doctrine and refuse to consider the possibilities.

Es enserio. Jesús estaría orgulloso de la fe y la lealtad.

Look, I’m not trying to ruin people’s love of the NFL. If anyone wants to know what I actually believe (not what Kamler wrote from a facetious text string) and how I got to where I am, they can simply ask me.

Pero nadie tiene. Y creo que eso dice mucho.

I don’t believe most NFL fans want to know about any rigging/fixing. Once they hear it, if it lands, they can’t unhear it. That’s how committed they are to the religion. They don’t want their Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays to be destroyed.

Como dije, toda la información está disponible. Cualquiera puede encontrarlo.

If you think I’m some kind of half-cocked conspiracy theorist, well, you’re wrong. Yes, there are a lot of bad “The NFL is rigged/scripted” YouTube videos on the Internet. These people think every little thing is “proof” that the NFL is fake. Do I watch a lot of those videos? Yep. And about 97.6% of each video gets dismissed with a chuckle.

Pero las piezas que me convencieron de que algo estaba pasando en la NFL no son un montón de videos de YouTube.

Truthfully speaking, after all these years…I’m disappointed that Kamler would dismiss me the way he has. He should know me well enough by now to know I’m not “that guy.” Again, maybe the problem is he does know I’m not “that guy.” I have to hand it to him, though. It takes a lot of guts to come out and write a column that makes fun of conspiracies, especially NFL ones. Because the number of people who will support you will only be….about 98.4% of the U.S. population. Big stones.

Why does my computer keep auto-correcting “Kamler” to “Calmer”?

(Comuníquese con Brad Carl por correo electrónico a bradjcarl@gmail.com y sígalo en Twitter como @bradcarl22)

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