I guess the Trump Administration is bringing back the Presidential Fitness Test and now I’m pretty upset that I didn’t vote for that Harris lady. I’m going to be honest; I can’t climb a rope up to the top of any gym and I suspect my pull up total remains below one. They used to post our results right there on the gym wall for all of the scorn and I suppose they’ll now be on a website somewhere, living forever.
I can only imagine my friends, enemies and frenemies will be looking at my results and snickering, just like third grade. This is an awful development. Not sure what the current status of Trump impeachments are but going to take a look.
My elementary school physical education teacher was a guy named Rob Phillips, and he looked exactly as you would expect a high school wrestling coach and elementary PE teacher would look in 1976. He was “Mr. Phillips” to me at that point. He could climb the rope to the ceiling with his legs straight out at a 90-degree angle. I was scared of him. Heck, I’m still scared of him, and I suppose he’s 80 years old or so at this point, don’t try to find him, I can’t take the trauma of disappointing him again.
The Fitness Test started in 1966 and then done away with in 2013. If you want to get your kids ready, 10-year-old boys need to be able to do 45 pullups in a minute and girls need to do forty. The boys will need to log a 7:57 mile and the girls need to clock a 9:19 mile or they’ll end up on a website of shame somewhere. Get those kids out of the library and outside, ASAP.
Foley strikes me as a pull up guy. Probably could whip out 50 before heading to the senior center for lunch. I’m just jealous.
Are we still doing “I’m for Ukraine” Facebook posts or is that over now? Remember when Democratic Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro was signing missiles in the company of Vice President Harris to be shot at Russia by Ukraine? That seems awkward now. I just get confused by all this.
My mistake. According to “fact checkers,” those were just props that he signed. They’re just made to look like they’re going to be shot at Russia.
Apparently, they don’t let war mongering politicians hold real munitions.
I’m going to get a meeting with Landmark Human Resources and see if we can get a columnist fitness award program going. Probably have a drinking contest, probably afternoon nap test and maybe a synonym quiz or something like that. I like my chances. I’m an elite level napper and my drinking skills, while eroded by time, are still top shelf on occasion. I’ll let you guys know what they think.
(Guy Speckman can be reached preparing for the columnist fitness challenge)
