I’m headed to the polls bright and early on Tuesday morning to save democracy. You can thank me later.
I’m an early riser and will probably be helping them carry the voting machines into my vote location. I’ll check them out for accuracy for you if I get the chance. I’m only going to vote as many times as I can get away with, remember, I’m here to save democracy.
I graduated from Northwest Missouri State University in 1989 with a 2.5 GPA and a government major, so I’m also pretty qualified to tell you that we actually do not live in a democracy. I hope that does not hurt your feelings.
We actually operate under a Constitutional Federal Republic, but who really wants to save a “republic?”
I’m really not bragging, but I did have a sub 2.0 GPA my first semester at NWMSU. Apparently a 1.4 GPA is not good, according to my academic advisor, the registrar and my mother who paid for that performance. I think they underestimated my contributions on the social side of the college experience, but I guess that’s a debate for another day.
The worst part of the current political discourse is that we have been forced to find out who and what our musical and screen stars support. Bruce Springsteen being a flaming liberal has really crushed me. All the words to his songs just hit different when you put that background on them. Part of my collegiate failures that first semester is that I attended Bruce’s concert at Kemper Arena in 1985 and I’m still recovering from it. Come to think of it, the Born in the USA tour was kind of like a MAGA rally today, bunch of white people who can’t dance, including Courtney Cox.
The world is a weird place, I’m just holding on to the ride.
I’m not exactly sure why I got a government major and I’m not sure what it is good for. I was originally going to be a math teacher. Then I failed my freshman math class, so that seemed a bit out of reach to those people grounded in reality and I suppose somebody at college finance office reached out and suggested something with fewer right and wrong answers.
I’ve got no good segue for this, but how many phone guys are there left? This has me a little worried lately. You remember the guys that came to your house and hooked up your phones? Do those people still exist? If they do not exist, what are they doing now? They always had those cool work belts with a modified phone that they could plug into your wall to test the new outlet they just cut in your house and now I’m worried where they all went. Are they still cutting jagged holes in people’s walls, or is that all over now? Will saving the democracy bring those guys back?
Anyway, let’s all get out there and save the republic next week and then we can all get back to complaining about whomever won or was at least declared a winner, like the model republic we are.
(Guy Speckman can be reached at his polling place, helping the poll workers carry in the voting machines)
