Caught a Sunday morning news host who was quizzing the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives over Donald Trump’s lack of disclosure of his cholesterol level. I am not joking. What kind of insane world are we living in? First, let’s just arrive at a couple of conclusions with our own common sense, Don’s bad cholesterol is likely high, but we are currently being governed by a president that is in severe cognitive decline, I’m not sure that drilling down on Don’s cholesterol is our biggest issue.
Remember when Kamala Harris won the primary, that was neat. Saving democracy one vote at a time.
My cholesterol is pretty good, but the number is propped up by Big Pharma, so I guess I should be scorned by some. I’m not a doctor but catching high cholesterol in your late 70s is not going to make much of a difference if your vote was hinging on this issue.
Wait. Harris never won a primary. That seems like an odd way to save Democracy, but I’m just a low cholesterol columnist spitting words out at this point.
The last time we had a balanced budget in this country was when Bill Clinton was president and I can assure you that he had high cholesterol, as well as a highly active libido, but I’d tolerate both at this point for a balanced fiscal policy. I’m not saying I want P Diddy to be president, but you gotta be wiling to compromise on some issues. I’d take some elevated lipid panel numbers in exchange for someone that might get entitlements under control, but you do you (that was not a P Diddy joke).
Probably going to violate HIPAA (don’t show this column to Zahnd) here, but my wife has high cholesterol and she’s skinny and runs miles for fun. Not sure why she does that, but she does. Anyway, she’s living proof that cholesterol is not just for us “fatties,” it’s a non-discriminatory condition that apparently is a new litmus test for presidential politics. Honestly, it’s probably an inroad to a lot of votes. Who wouldn’t identify with a good, old fashioned, high cholesterol, high liver enzymes candidate? They’d win in a landslide (see Bill Clinton).
Again, I do not have a medical degree, but bad cholesterol is a gift from your parents, hereditary in nature. I’m only guessing that some poor parents will have to look at their baby offspring and accept the fact they will never be president of the United States because they gave them high cholesterol. Seems sad, but I guess these things are necessary when you save democracies.
You got less than 30 days to go over all the lipid panels for the various elected officials, so you don’t have time to read much more of this. May your favorite candidates have “good numbers.”
(Guy Speckman cannot be reached as he is poring over 2024 candidate lipid panels)
