Take
a memo
9/10/2001
by CK Rairden
Landmark columnist
A There is no question that those who participate
in the NFL need suggestions throughout the season. As
you sit in the stadium screaming at the coaches, players
and the refs we hear you. For those watching the game
throwing stuff at the TV we know how you feel. Do you
ever feel like firing off a memo to those who you believe
deserves your wrath? This column is for you.
Memo to the NFL referees—
Next time someone offers you a 60% raise for a part time
job, take it.
Memo # 2 to the locked out NFL referees—
Either come back or go back to your day jobs. Stop whining.
Memo to the KC Chiefs—
If Todd Peterson is the answer, what is the question?
Memo #2 to the KC Chiefs—
Start looking for a kicker...right now, today.
Memo #3 to the KC Chiefs—
You are going to need another wide receiver. One that
can get some separation and help move the chains. Look
for one now, today.
Memo to the milk carton manufacturing
factory—
Here’s a picture of Derrick Alexander. Please put
it on a milk carton. He is missing.
Memo to CBS pre-game show—
Bring Jill Arrington on every week.
Memo to CBS team covering the Chiefs/Raiders—
When you have a hit as good as Donald Willis’ knock
out blow to Greg Biekert show it again at full speed.
Again and again.
Memo to CBS team covering the Chiefs/Raiders—
Stick with the game shots as the play is developing.
Memo to the CBS team covering the Chiefs/Raiders—
No one would mind if you were locked out or went on strike.
Memo to Kevin Harlan—
You may be spreading yourself too thin; you are off your
game.
Memo to the Baltimore Ravens—
You can’t just roll out, celebrate your Super Bowl
victory from last season and expect teams to roll over
for you.
Memo to Elvis Grbac—
You didn’t win a Super Bowl in 1994, spare us the
rhetoric that you know what pressure is because the 49ers
won it all while you carried a clipboard.
Memo to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers—
See Ravens memo, minus the Super Bowl celebration.
Memo to the Minnesota Vikings—
Meet Chris Weinke.
Memo to Charlie Garner—
“Charlie Garner, welcome to the AFC West” —Jerome
Woods.
Memo to Greg Biekert—
Don’t pick up the ball off the ground and run down
the field with Donald Willis around.
Memo to Tim Brown—
He may be a replacement referee, but he still has a yellow
flag he can throw.
Memo to Raiders opponents—
Eight and nine men at the line of scrimmage seem to slow
this team down.
Memo #2 to Raiders opponents—
This Jerry Rice guy may have something left, you may want
to cover him.
Memo to the NFC East—
Yes, the Redskins are that bad
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